Have you heard the latest Blossip? There’s a certain Bleached Blonde Blogger who posts
her black bleather blurbs shorter than mid-bligh and you can almost see her blotch!
In some ways, the blogging world is no different from the real one. There’s an “Online Grapevine,” where often in the blink of a blye, you can be blogsided by a big Bloggermouth; your Blog blackened, blemished, bloglisted or even blogcotted forever.
Exactly Like This . . .
Blanche: Remember “Blaine, the Blunt Blogger Bloke?”
Blaire: Yeah? What about him?
Blanche: Well Blumor has it that he blirted with “Blossom, the Blushing Bridal Blogger” after she got herself a bloob-job and then on their very first draft, she gave him a blog-job.
Blaire: The Blussy!
Blanche: They’ve since blended their blogs, trying hard to get blognant. Finally the Bloctor prescribed blertility drugs and she got blocked-up with Bliplets.
Blaire: No!
Blanche: And Blythe, the Bluebonnet Blogstress who does fashion?
Blaire: Yes?
Blanche: Was seen blogging in a blazer blouse from Bloomingdales that made her look bloated!
Blaire: Does she think her followers are blind?
Blanche: It’s a blunder she doesn’t lose them all!
In order to prevent Blumors and Blossip from spreading, a Blogger must first be able to decipher what’s being said about himself or a Beloved Blogger Buddy/Brother. Alas, rest easy my Dear Reader – – for I have taken it upon myself to become your very own personal Blogger Bleacher (Teacher) and will now offer a Translation to Today’s Blogging Blanguage.
Presenting: The Totally Incomplete (check back as more will be added) Guide To Blogger Blingo!
Clogger Blogger– – A Dutch dancer who writes a blog.
Blogtose Intolerant – – A person afflicted with this terrible probloglem gets cramps if they even come within 5 ft of WordPress.com. Closely related to Irritable Blog Syndrome.
Hitnosis – – Going into a mesmerizing trance as you refresh your Stats page 85 times.
Blogdrop – – To keep mentioning a certain blog that has been numerously Freshly Pressed because it brings one clout.
Everlasting BlogStopper – – Willy Wonka’s new gumball sized candy that Mr. Blogworth tries to steal.
Boogie Woogie Bugle Blogger – – One who types to the rhythm of World War II music.
Sprog – – A blog that originates in the warmish season following Winter.
Blawkward – – That moment when you hype your blog to someone and you realize they could care less as they overtly Blawn (yawn) in your face.
You Ain’t Nothing But a HoundBlog – – Tune someone sings when a Blogger incessantly sends a “friend” a link to their latest post, after that friend has changed their email address. Twice.
Blaless – – A woman who runs a bare-breasted blog.
A Pot Roast/Post – – Bloggers gather at a banquet to poke fun (often good-naturedly) at both a man’s blog and his wife’s cooking.
A Bleeper Blooper Blanker Blogger – – One who blogs using profanity or frequently substitutes symbols &*%$ so the reader must constantly fill in the blanks.
Bloco – – Means “A crazy Blogger” in Mexico. But in the U.S., you can order chicken at a fast food place called “El Blollo Bloco.”
A Past Post Pest – – Someone who keeps “replaying” their older posts again and again, so that each new Follower will read them.
A Blogan – – An advertising bloy (ploy) to blure (lure) someone to their blog. Read more about Blogans (Blogs + Slogans) as well as blog-branding, when you click HERE.
The Father, Son & the Holy Post – – When Daddy & Me time at the computer takes on a religious tone.
A Snotty-Blotty or a Blog-Snob – – One who is hoity-toity and disables their comments to the public, only letting their BBF’s (Best Blends Forever) (who’ve known them since childhood) leave seriously snooty remarks.
Bladder Blogging – – That gross act of multi-tasking when a blogger posts from his bathroom.
Blimp – – This happens to a man’s fingers when he tries to blog in front of a woman he’s just met.
I hope this Blargon helps you navigate through the Blumor Mill. But just like in the real world, please use the information you read here for purposes of Good (to put an end to the Blossip) If you plan on being Bleaky (Sneaky) and using this Blocab (vocab) for ill-will, then leave me a comment and I will make sure to pass it on that you are the “Biggest BusyBody Blogger” this side of the Blississippi.
Once Upon Your Prime 
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Wandered over here from Aussa’s… oh… this is just genius. I wish I could time warp this wit to a period of my life that was WAY before weblogs. I got blit by the blumor blill when it was just the rumor mill. Y’know, offline.
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Hi and thank you for the compliment. However, I must say I’m sorry you can relate to being a victim of the rumor mill in the real world. That sucks. Let’s all hope for better experiences blogging.
take care and please visit more,
Stephanie
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All I can say is, Blogarious! Another 5 star to be sure!
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Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Bloggers blumors!!! Don’t ……….
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How very kind of you. Thank you – – Looking forward to reading about your next adventures!
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Let’s see if you like them!! Get ready for a bumpy ride. I blog a bit about everything and a lot about nothing!!
🙂
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I am loving what I see, but so far taken with your piano!
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Thank you …. I have to upload them because I forget them.
They are simply coming out of me when I sit at the piano. I don’t write the music. That’s why I record them.
🙂
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Is this the one? Terribly entertaining!!! Hugs ….
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Yep – – you found me!
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There you go!! Is this the post that you were taking about adding post pest to??
LOL!!! … <>
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Yes, it is@ I just added it, between “Bloco” and “Blogan” so tell me if you think it’s funny? I changed the meaning from what you and I did on Facebook. A different slant on a Post Pest!
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I like it!! Did u write a new post?
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No, just edited the same post above and stuck the new term between “Bloco” and “Blogan” – – you may have to refresh your page to see it. Also, (if you liked this type of humor) you might like my post prior to this one, which is entitled “Conversations Overheard with Non-Bloggers.”
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Will refresh and look for the other ones!! TY ….
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Blavo, Blavo! Your spellchecker must have blown a fuse on THAT one!
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Perfect, Maggie! Not that I deserve it but Blavo… Cleverest of feedback! Thank you.
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Oh, now I know where I’ve seen you before! Aren’t you Rod Blogojevich’s ex?
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Must you always elicit a “Now, why didn’t I think of that??”reaction? It IS a good thing you can cook, Sir BP.
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Could not stop Blaphing. In fact it almost caused a blogastrophe. It is refreshing that not all your blogs are about meanobloss. Laughing all the way through it.
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hahaha! 😀 LOVE IT! This made my day. what a great way to wake up to such a post like this !
Xx
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It’s so funny that you wake up when I’m supposed to be going to sleep (but as an insomniac, I never do) Anyhow – – thank you so much Tina.
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hahah 😀 well, I live in Norway 😉
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Now I’m paranoid that my blotch is showing!
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This comment made me laugh the most. I don’t know why. Maybe because you have Blonde in your name? lol. You know I wasn’t referring to you now, right? That was for all the OTHER blogging blondes. 😉
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After reading this I have concluded that my dictionary seems to be missing a page or two of words beginning with bl
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I will come over and straighten that dictionary out asap. You’re missing a very colorful consonant blend!
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Wait – have to let the tear of laughter stop – there – no still going – I think – yes I’m somewhat under a semblance of control (the best you’ll ever get with me honestly). Oh my that was blogtastic and blog full of blighting hints(well that one could have been better – I’m not calling for End of Days after all) and bluseful tips. Really really blogtesrical. lol. 🙂
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Hi Jenni! Bluseful tips! I love it. And you need no semblance of control to comment here, believe me! Thanks again.
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Oh that’s good control and myself walk rather different paths I’m afraid. Some march to beat of a different drum but I require a full orchestra to keep up.
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I love this. Smiling and high five-ing you the whole way. I want to write something as fun as this one for a change.
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For a change? Ha! You are the Fun One! Cork bottles and WTF and “Kids Are Bad For Your Health! I cannot seem to figure out how to comment on your blog tonight so I’m commenting here. “Kids hard up for that damn fox.” LOL!! Anyhow, I am honored you read this and commented. Apparently you do KNOW how to do such an intricate task.
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Thank you!! That was a little boost I needed this morning. I seem to have lost my funny bone for a while and it’s frustrating me so thank you for the kind words. You’re awesome 🙂
Were you not able to comment on the other posts?? Just curious if I have a setting on that made it difficult for you.
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Well…(I’m almost 50, keep this in mind as you respond, ok?!) where oh where is your comment prompt on that theme??
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When you click on a category, you can read all the posts in that category in a row. If you want to comment, you have to click on the title of the post. Does that make sense?
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