One day I got bored with eavesdropping on other people and decided to tune into myself for a change.  My body, to be exact.  It has a lot to say.  So, won’t you join me?

Body Language

Left Breast: She hates us. Have you read this?  It’s her “Breast-o Manifesto.” It’s only a matter of time before she tries to shrink us again with Reduction surgery. I say we Kill her first. Wage a Preemptive Strike.

Right Breast: I’m feeling a bit nippy right now.  I’ll read it later when my goosebumps are gone.

Left Breast: We must stay abreast of this woman’s body hatred before it’s too late. The Abdomen alleges that war was declared over this summer and the oblique muscles were nearly Crunched to death.  Doing 100 a day.   But we can’t be stupid about it, either. If we strike aggressively with Breast Cancer, everyone will…