Blogs R’ Us! (Almost Famous!)


photo-67Have you heard?  They are casting a new television show that will portray real life bloggers in their online funny personalities!  Eagerly filling out the application right here, I was disappointed to get an email back from the Big Wig in charge (at CBS no less!) saying I wasn’t quite what they were looking for. However, I wouldn’t let that stop me.  After seeing a therapist for my recent issues, I have a new found self-assurance in my creative talents.

If blogs are coming to television and they are already in the movies with films like Julie and Julia, surely there’s room for one or two more? The producer reluctantly agreed I could drop by today at 4 pm to present a few of my Blog concepts for Hollywood and some original titles.  I could just feel it – – I was about to become a television star.

Now you must understand something — I don’t want to be famous for me. That’s not it at all.  It’s my teachers from elementary school that never got any recognition that I’m thinking of. It’s been a lifelong dream of mine to have a show similar to Oprah’s where I can bring one onstage each week, while shouting, “Yoo hoo, Mrs. Gretchanbaum from 4th grade, come on out.”

I got a little lost inside the thirteen story building, but finally found the correct place and was surprised to find a “Blogs R Us” sign displayed on their door.  Wow, CBS must really be serious about bringing blogs to tv to have their own suite dedicated just for that.  It was warm and cozy inside with a fireplace in the entryway.

“Trust yourself and don’t take no for an answer,” was my new mantra after seeing my confidence-building therapist just this morning. As soon as I spied an important executive standing nearby I launched right in, belting out the words I’d rewritten to Gilligan’s Island:

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful blog,

That started from this quirky mind

After clearing her brain fog!”

When I concluded with my grand finale, “Here on Bloggagan’s Island!” they looked positively dazzled — so I continued without missing a beat to share some of my other ideas for titles.  I figured I would start with the classics:

  • I Blog Lucy
  • Captain Bloggeroo
  • Bloggie and Harriet
  • The Bloggerly Hillbillies
  • The Blog Newhart Show
  • Blogwitched
  • I Dream of Bloggy
  • Blogger Knows Best
  • The Bloggymooners
  • Leave It to Blogger
  • Blognanza
  • The Bloggy Bunch
  • Bloggie’s Angels
  • Laverne & Bloggy
  • Hill Street Blogs
  • Hawaii Blog-O
  • The Blog Boat
  • Welcome Back Blogger
  • Who’s The Blog?

Their expression darkened a bit however, and me being such a quick judge of age, I decided to throw out shows more from their generation than mine:

  • The Blogs of Hazard
  • The Blogsby Show
  • Blogney and Lacey
  • Bloggie Howser MD
  • The Fresh Prince of Blog-Air
  • Third Blog from the Sun
  • Bloggerly Hills 9021 . . .

“Sorry, who are you again?” A crowd started to form in the lobby.

“I’m Little Miss Menopause, but never mind the Little, I’m about to become the next Big Thing!”

“I believe that.”  He glanced at my figure.

“Please.  You haven’t heard the best one.  Blogfeld!  A show with a blog about nothing. Naturally I think I would be perfect for that one.”

“What’s she talking about?” A woman whispered.

“She seems to be under the impression we’re looking for television shows.”

In that moment I knew my approach was all wrong.  It was movies they wanted.  For the big screen.  Of course!  I switched to my best Scarlett O’Hara impression, “Oh Rhett . . .Where shall I go?  What shall I do?”

“Gone with the Blog!”  Someone shouted this out while snapping their fingers excitedly, as if playing Charades.

Whatever.  It was “Gone With the Words.”  But if they liked the other, I’d sell that too.  I took a deep breath and spouted out the rest. . .

  • The Wizard of Blog
  • Casablogga
  • King Blog
  • The Blog of Frankenstein
  • Sunset Blogavard
  • It’s a Wonderful Blog!
  • Invasion of the Bloggy Snatchers
  • Rebel Without a Blog
  • All the President’s Blogs
  • One Blogged Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • Night of the Living Blog
  • Seven Blogs for Seven Bloggers
  • The Blogfather
  • Blogshank Redemption
  • Rosemary’s Bloggy
  • The Lord of the Blogs
  • Bloggers of the Lost Ark
  • A Blogwork Orange
  • Who’s Afraid of Virginia’s Blog?
  • The Blogs of Wrath
  • Groundblog Day
  • The Silence of the Blogs
  • Smokey and the Blogette
  • Lawrence of Bloggia
  • To Kill a Bloggingbird

I paused to inhale.

“She forgot the classic horror movie, ‘The Blob.’  Would be really easy to tweak that.”

I gave her a dirty look.

“Look just give me a chance.  If it’s children’s movies you’re after, I have . . .

  • Mary Bloggins
  • Snow White and the Seven Blogs
  • Bloggy & the Beast
  • Bloggatouille
  • Honey, I Shrunk the Bl . . .

“Excuse me.  There seems to be some mistake.  We are NOT a production company for television OR movies.”

“You’re not?  But the sign on your door?”

“Oh, did they put that letter “B” up there again?  Every time the “B” falls off the sign on “CBS Studios” upstairs, the janitor mixes up the floors and puts it on our door instead.  We’re “Logs R’ Us.”  We sell everything you need to start a fire!”  He picked up a black iron poker as I moved toward the door.

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I took the stairs because it would be faster than the elevator. I arrived just as a salesman was walking out carrying a bunch of grates and fireplace screens.

“I’m here to pitch you some new blog concept shows,” I announced with the same enthusiasm I had downstairs.

“You’re too late,” the CBS executive said, humming ‘Come on Baby, Light My Fire.’  “That man you just saw leaving.  He works downstairs at “Logs R’ Us” and he was on fire with the ideas.  He just sold us  “Towering Blogferno” and “Blogdraft.”  They’re going to be hot BlogBusters at the Blog Office!”

Did I tell you I’ve always wanted to be a famous songwriter for Elvis? But you must understand — it’s not for me…it’s for this new blogging generation who doesn’t get to appreciate all his outdated songs.  Let’s see, there’s . . .

  • You Ain’t Nothing but a HoundBlog!
  • Heartblog Hotel
  • Jailhouse Blog
  • Suspicious Blogs…

 

 

56 thoughts on “Blogs R’ Us! (Almost Famous!)”

  2. LOL. While getting on a reality show sounds intriguing, I have a feeling it would be much more of a hassle in real life. I hear there is a lot of editing that happens that can totally shape what is seen as opposed to what actually happens. I see you having your own show with you as talk show host. And LOL- “The BLOG” as opposed to “The Blob”- perfect.

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    • Thanks Diahann — there is a TON of forced feeding of lines in reality shows, I actually have experienced first hand. And The Blob was my favorite old movie growing up….even though I think it’s from the 50’s – -my mother would show us when it ran on tv. I never looked at silly putty the same! So of course I had to work it into this piece. Thanks for your delightful visit…sorry I took so long to respond, just found you here today.

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  3. You had quite a day pitching your ideas. Looks like we’ll have to wait for the “Top Blog”. Although, I would to see “The Blog Zone”. Perhaps you could take it to Broadway with “The Blog and I”. Wherever you go I am quite sure it will be a box office hit.

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  4. Why Little Miss Menopause…. you have become a creative , humorous and prolific writer. I can definitely pinpoint the moment it began to happen…..there was something in that brisket gravy last year. I am very happy to watch your success and enjoy the comments from your followers. I still want a date with you, maybe we can hook up The Blogging Game or The Blog Connection…..of course I just had to play along and throw in a couple of TV shows….a very fun article.

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    • The brisket gravy – – lol, that’s your turning point with me. Great! How about we square off in some sort of classic game show — say “Blog or Consequences?” Remember that one? Oh wait – – I know….with your moves, “So You Think You Can Blog?” is gonna be our challenge.

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  5. Funny post! 🙂 Don’t forget the tv western Blogsmoke,
    or the science fiction anthology,
    The Twilight Blog.
    Although I guess that last one could also be used for a bad movie about teen vampire bloggers. 🙂

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  9. Well you can blog me down with a candle !! This post is so brilliant Stephanie that it should be Freshly Pressed on Ironing Weekly. I laughed so much that I sprayed my keyboard with bloghurt. I’m suing you ! :/ 😀 xx ❤

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  10. you are hysterical – and the show names you came up with – brilliant! enjoyed this and now I am curious to see shot eh show urns out. Bloggers are so varied – I am really curious to see how it will unfold.
    ]hmmm

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  11. How about a rock opera, kind of a take off on The Wall? We’ll just call it The Blog. We can pitch it to record companies. You can sing and I’ll play the instruments. No wait, I wanna sing…

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  12. You forgot a movie that could make a billion gadzillion bucks. It’s call “Fifty Shades of Blogger”. It’s the story of this young college-aged bloggiing newby. She meets Mr. Blogger himself. It’s lust at first sight. Before you know it, they are blogging together, doing things that no blogger has done before. It’s tag will be “To boldy blog where no blogger has blogged before”. Maybe we can get Jennifer Lawrence and Brad Pitt for the main characters. Course it does end sadly. Their blog is so hot it crashes the internet. I think this could be a winner. Don’t you?

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