A Dozen UNIQUE Cell Phone Camera Ideas … Because Life is Meant To Be Hacked


photo (7)I don’t own a regular camera so I was very interested in the unusual ways you can use your cell phone to capture “the moment.” I’ve now thought up ways that even Kodak would consider obsessive.

I know you’ve probably used yours to take inventory of what’s in your suitcase before traveling,  or even photographed your car so you remember where to find it at the shopping mall. Fun times. The attendant loves driving me around in his little security cart playing “Auto Findo” based on the crooked, blurry shot of my license plate adjacent to a trash dumpster. And if I weren’t Jewish I would use it to record where the Easter eggs were hidden so I wouldn’t have stale jelly beans under my television stand when Christmas came around. Don’t think about that one too long. I also don’t fish so there’s no sense in using it to remember which part of a stream the abalone were biting last week. See why I don’t fish?

So now without further ado . . . (and really what IS “Ado?” Can we capture it on film?)

 

Little Miss Menopause’s Unique (but not necessarily useful) Cell Camera Idea List

1)   While at the beach or pool, check out your backside to make sure you’re not getting sunburn. Then photograph other sun worshipper’s backs to prove to them they’ve had enough.

2)  When you loan out a book or a power tool to someone, take their picture holding the item so you’ll remember who has it. Pretty soon word will get out and unattractive friends will stop asking to borrow from you.

3)  Record for posterity the exact level of ice-cream in a partially eaten half gallon container before the babysitter comes over so you have evidence.

4)  Capture the covers displayed on your bathroom magazine rack when you have a clogged toilet so you can make sure and put different issues out next time the plumber visits.

The plumber wishes you would put Playboy out.

The plumber wishes you would put Playboy out.

5)  Snap your last haircut so you can bring it back to the stylist next time and insist she do it the exact same way. Alternatively, bring it to a new beautician and admonish her never to cut your hair like that. Ever.

6)  Take a picture of the hot/cold lever in the shower so you remember how it’s swiveled for just the perfect temperature. Do the same thing with the little dial on your toaster after you’ve crisped the perfect bagel.

This is a shower for Goldilocks! Not too hot, not too cold -- Just Right!

This is a shower for Goldilocks! Not too hot, not too cold — Just Right!

7)  Take a selfie of yourself thru a peephole of a front door so you know how far back to stand, what angle you should tilt your head, and how widely you should smile to make the best (concavely distorted) first impression.

8)  Click yourself each time you go to a funeral so you’re not wearing the same outfit. Do you want the dearly departed to think you only own one black dress?

9)  Take a picture of your child’s pouting/frowning face so next time you threaten that it will freeze that way, you will be able to illustrate.

10) Keep all photos of you, your friends and relatives (at concerts, parties, vacations) caught blinking and post them all online in an album called, “My New Narcolepsy Support Group.”

11) When your kids ask you to buy certain cookies or a junky cereal that you don’t want them to have, move all of this product aside in the grocery store and take a picture of the empty shelf (with price tag) to show they sold out. “Sorry, there was a big run on Lucky Charms cereal this week, guys.”

12)  Take a selfie both laughing and frowning – decide which expression causes the least amount of wrinkles.  Assume that expression 100% of the time during any emotional outburst.

There you go!  Now you can forget about using your cellphone as a mirror, that’s completely old school.  You have a dozen new ways to make your life more interesting.  And here’s a bonus.  Always forgetting where you leave your cell phone?  Take a picture of the location that you’re about to set it down in. Ta Da!  Don’t think about that one too long either.

Which one is your favorite? How about you?  Any unusual ways you’ve used your camera or video?

*See what I’m talking about on The Huffington Post just today (especially if you need a refresher course in driving!)  Click HERE.

 

51 thoughts on “A Dozen UNIQUE Cell Phone Camera Ideas … Because Life is Meant To Be Hacked”

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  6. Hilarious post. I really liked this one. I think your uses for camera phones are far better than what most people use them for!

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  10. Oh my God! I am implementing several of these forthwith (and not all because some I do already do!). Friends had better come well dressed when they borrow something!
    DO the perfect settings on the toaster/shower exist though? Not sure I’ve found either yet!

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  14. I love the idea of taking photos of people who borrow things from you, they can’t deny the evidence! Also I like the beach one but here in UK our backside is our bum, so ii was amused at the idea of people twisting around trying to get a picture of their arse! Not easy when you have one the size of mine. Anyway, I am pretty adventurous and have taken a video on my phone! Miss Hap’s sports day. Sh won the skipping race, and the footage I got was of a lot of grass, other parents that got in the way, and me screaming to cheer her on I did not however, get her skipping over the finish line first! I was being far too ambitious!

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  16. OMG like, this is brilliant. I always have a farewell party for any books I lend out and say a tearful goodbye knowing they will never be returned. Now I will include a mugshot like tag with the photo of them and the book so I can prove them to be the thieves they are. You are seriously one of the most amazing people alive. xx

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  17. I’m right there with you, just how sneaky are those ado, I have never seen one, have YOU? I must say I do not want to nit pick but streams usually refer to fresh water. Abalone are salt water creatures, so just thinking if you were in a stream looking for abalone we now know why you did not find them. If you are attending so many funerals that you are worried about duplicating your attire you may want to start taking more pictures of those around you. Now you see then, now you don’t. Okay, that was tacky, but, I did see you smile.

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    • Uhh, I don’t mean to be picky in return, but I intentionally picked abalone to make it funny since they aren’t in streams and they most certainly won’t take any bait. In fact, they often ARE the bait, right? Now all I need to figure out is the plural of abalone? Is it just as is, smartie pants? 😉 But you’re comment about taking photos of all my living friends since I attend so many funerals was quite humorous. Thanks.

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  19. I don’t know how you think of so many funny posts. I wish I could think of the quality of humorous articles like you do but I guess that will never be. You see I suffer from further ado. 🙂

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  21. I’ll take the bait: what were the abalone biting?

    I joined the ranks of smartphone owners just a couple months ago. I’ve zoomed forward in time! Thanks for the tips!

    I liked the loaning photo op until I realized that it could bite me back. No one will lend me anything after my picture cracks their lens.

    The selfie through the peephole is in line with my warped reasoning when I’ve locked myself out: that I’d like to be in my house so I can get my keys.

    My favorite uses for my phone camera are paperkarma (for reducing the amount of junk mail that I receive), and scanning bar codes to find deals. Now, you say that I can use it as a mirror? Maybe katiemorningstar will use it to find the mirror in her purse.

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