Okay, okay I plead guilty to Baby Book Slacking! But it was self-defense. Should we put mothers on trial for omitting crucial information from subsequent children’s baby books? Wouldn’t the father be an accomplice?
So I got a little lazy? Besides, who really ever reads these books anyhow? It’s not like they’re headed straight for the New York Times Best Yeller Seller list, are they? Number six child is lucky she got any kind of handwritten documentation out of me at all. She could’ve just had a copy of the below dog-eared book shoved in a keepsake box (or an empty Lucky Charms cereal carton) along with some loose teeth and a lock of hair. And it could’ve been the dog’s teeth and hair. Give me some credit!
But just for the sheer fun of shaming me, let’s take a quick looksy at the differences, shall we? Of course, the First page of all Baby Memory Books always starts off with the classic Family Tree. Important stuff!
- PAGE FROM FIRST CHILD’s BOOK!
Above is a beautiful specimen, sure to be treasured through the years. But nothing beats the creativity of the sixth child’s Family Tree below.
As I further compare and contrast books — all information from First Child’s Baby Memory Book will be in Blue Font. Whereas Sixth Child’s info (what little there is) will be in Pink Font.
BABY’S NAME: Benjamin
SIGNIFICANCE OF NAME: Your Dad and I bonded over watching actor, Benjamin Bratt in the television series, “Law & Order.” On our honeymoon, we kissed in front of the Big Ben clock in London!
BABY’S NAME: Lacey
SIGNIFICANCE OF NAME: I wanted to remember my favorite vintage blouse which got ruined when morning sickness made me vomit all over the Chantilly applique collar and sleeves. Tsk, Tsk!
HOW LABOR BEGAN: – We were shopping for nursery furniture when I felt a mild twinge so we rushed to the hospital. The labor and delivery nurses thought we were so cute and sent us back home three different times until the pains came closer together.
HOW LABOR BEGAN: At Disneyland, my water broke on Splash Mountain. Nobody would believe me. Your siblings insisted we stay for the Electrical Light Parade. Sitting curbside while writhing in pain, I was suddenly seized by a huge contraction which made me kick an extension cord out of an outlet. The entire park plunged into darkness.
THESE WONDERFUL INDIVIDUALS WERE PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTH: Nana, Papa, Aunt Carol, Uncle Gary, Great Grandma Ethel, my wonderful obstetrician Dr. Pransky and of course, your Daddy!
THESE WONDERFUL INDIVIDUALS WERE PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTH: Pluto and a Dwarf.
FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL: A darling lavender poodle who sleeps in a doghouse on your dresser.
FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL: A dust bunny who hangs out under your crib.
Time for Baby’s First Hand & Foot Prints. Awww….
Though not depicted below, 6th Baby does possess a complete set of Hands and Feet! I thought leaving that to the imagination was a nice touch.
- Yes, 6th Baby WAS nicknamed SpongeBob SquareToes for quite some time.
YOUR FIRST SOLID FOOD: Mashed banana, rice puree and strained spinach
YOUR FIRST SOLID FOOD: A piece of What’s His Name’s bean, rice, cheese and guacamole burrito, french fries, a diet coke.
FIRST WORDS: Mama, Dada, light, doggy, ball, cookie, more!
FIRST WORDS: Help! Valium, postpartum depression, Crème Brûlée, Weight Watchers!
YOU BEGAN TO USE YOUR HANDS AT 6 months THIS IS WHAT YOU DID: You reached out tentatively for a colorful rattle shaped like a butterfly!
YOU BEGAN TO USE YOUR HANDS AT 2 years THIS IS WHAT YOU DID: You shoved a pen and this Baby Memory Book into my arms and looked expectantly into my eyes.
Story time together is such a delight. Here are your favorite books and now they’re mine, too!
Pat the Bunny Green Eggs & Ham Where The Wild Things Are! If You Give A Mouse A Cookie!
I’m so sick of these stupid books, I’ve taken creative license with the titles. Also, you’re getting more astute and have started wondering why every book consists of only two pages and then we chant triumphantly “The End!” Here’s your faves:
Splat The Bunny Green Eggs & Scram Where the Reviled Things Are! If You think Your Mom is kooky!
FIRST LULLABYE: Rockabye Baby, I sing it to you in the rocking chair
FIRST ALIBI: I couldn’t have sung to you because I became tone deaf. Plus we used the rocking chair for kindling wood during a family camp out.
FIRST OUTING: We went to the park and you experienced your very first swing.
FIRST SHOUTING: You got to listen to your dad and I argue (over emptying the dishwasher) and experienced my first mood swing.
And the Last Page always ends with such independence!
FIRST WALK: You took three steps and we all applauded for you! FIRST WAVED: You’re off to preschool already – – turned and waved to me “Bye-bye!” Good job! Where did all the time go??
There were some “small time gaps” in Sixth Child’s book, but I DID finish the last page:
FIRST JOCK: You’re a cheerleader now dating the high school quarterback! FIRST SHAVED: Your legs look smooth and silky. You’re off to college already? “Bye-bye!” Good job! Where did all the time go??
Once Upon Your Prime 
Pingback: Should You Have a Trial Run With Your Baby's Name?
YES!!! I got some GREAT belly laughs from this!!!! Sponge bob square toes! 🙂 Your posts never disappoint. PS. at least you wrote *something*. I still haven’t done my third baby’s book yet! 😉 (even if your youngest has yet to go to college…)
LikeLike
First rule of thumb…destroy incriminating evidence that may be misconstrued as favoritism. Our books were so pathetic that I chucked them on our last move. The baby pictures of my 1st and 2nd when they were 2 weeks old were so similar, I didn’t know which was which because the 2nd wore the same hand-me-down. The 3rd and 4th were easy – boy and girl twins – easy to see the difference. I can’t imagine having 2 more…you are a saint. Well if you were catholic, you would be. Very funny Stephanie, especially the hand and footprints of the 6th…hysterical!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Donna ~ YOU are very funny! I love it. I have beautiful baby books. Hardcover. Not a bloody thing in either one. I stupidly wrote their names in them so I can’t even give ’em away as a shower gift to a future mom… I’m with you, they are NOT moving to the new house…
LikeLiked by 1 person
When life gives you lemons. XD
LikeLike
I only have one daughter and I could even manage to fill her book in right. Kept forgetting the little ‘milestones’ that needed to be written down and recorded. God knows how i would have coped with six! I loved your line ‘first alibi’ about being tone deaf and using the rocking chair for kindling! Hilatious! 🙂
LikeLike
“…Pluto and a Dwarf…” ROFL! OMG. So true and so funny! My first son’s book, I filled completely even writing on the front inside cover and back inside cover and attaching little things like the four leaf clovers he found in a baggie, etc. Second child, I had good intentions at the beginning…..
How could you possibly do 6 of these books? Too much to ask!
Another awesome post, Stephanie!
LikeLike
Funny a actually true. lol When my first son was born if we heard him hiccup we’d go running to make sure he was alright. I remember for our second son we laid him in our bed upstairs to sleep. Not long after we heard a large thump that sounded like he had fell off the bed onto the floor.
My wife and I looked up from what we were reading, looked at each other, and decided “well he’s not crying. he must be fine”. and went back to reading.
He was fine by the way. And a tough kid. lol
LikeLike
I expect an update when the adoption agency gives you child #7. This post was too good not to have that information added on.
LikeLike
After reading this report, I’ve come to the reassuring knowledge that I’m in the same league as your esteemed self and most parents. As a mother of SIX, you’ve earned the rights to any excuse whereas I only gave birth to 3 children! Slacko that I am! My third child/daughter’s baby book is pretty well pristine – practically no markings in it. She might be able to sell it on eBay and use the money to pay a fiction writer to fill in her version of her babyhood in a baby book of her choice. 😊
LikeLike
That is hysterical Wendy. Really envious of that last line. Miss you!
LikeLike
Where did all the time go? I’ll tell you where all the time went!!! Putting these @#$%^ books together. Those that have more than two children certainly must have looked back and wondered what to do with the containers of first snipped hair, teeth, and perhaps an old pair of shoes. Looks like materials for some Voodoo doll out of a movie from Hitchcock and Samuel Bayer. Very, very funny.
LikeLike
Very funny comment because we spend more time capturing memories either writing them down, photographing or videoing them than we actually do living them!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here’s to making more memorable experience in the now
LikeLike
“Help! Valium, postpartum depression, Creme Brulee, Weight Watchers!” LOL. So real, raw, and down to earth by number six. I’d say that’s why we stopped sugar-coating it all by five, but in truth we abandoned the idea long before that.
LikeLike
Hello! You have a knack for singling out my fave lines. Thank you. 5,6,7 what’s the difference? Just a little laundry after that point!
LikeLike
Oh but what a laundry. And no missing socks!
LikeLike
Are you also not tired cuz of the time change??
LikeLike
I forgot what sleep was…he said snickering to himself.
LikeLike
Now we only have a 23 hour day. I hope they catch the thief that stole that hour.
LikeLike
Ha ha! 1st baby: dropped pacifier gets boiled for 2 minutes; 2nd baby: dropped pacifier gets rinsed under tap water; 3rd baby: dropped pacifier you check to make sure there aren’t any dog hairs and maybe you plop it in your own mouth to “rinse” it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No truer words Mademoiselle! Thank you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must have gotten the whole thing. I thought that by the sixth baby, first baby would be old enough to do the sixth baby’s book. Some of the entries in the sixth baby’s book would be. First meal: That is some of the apple sauce that came out of my bratty brother’s rear end.
First traced picture: That is not his hand print. It’s mine on bratty brother’s rear end for peeing all over my new dress. Geez.
Hair particle: I pulled that out of his head all by myself. Sure, he cried. But that will teach the little fart to pee all over my new dress. Geez.
mp3 file of the first words out of his mouth: I’ll get you for this.
Now tell me. Am I right about this or what?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry. Gotten the whole thing wrong.
Geez, where is that proof reader anyway?
LikeLiked by 1 person
You actually are right on the (wrinkled, spit-up on) money with this theory. See the hand and footprint in this post? Illustrated by older sibling!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know we had a first baby book and calendar marking all my son’s achievements the first few years of his life. My daughter did not get the same treatment. I can only imagine what would happen if we got to number 6.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really subsequent kids need to start a support group and get heavily into therapy!
LikeLike
What do you propose? Afterthoughts Anonymous? Seventh Son of the Seventh Son Support Group?
LikeLike