Are You Trying To Tell Me Something??


photo (11)We’ve all heard about the witty ways a man has proposed to a woman, like hiring a skywriter to spell out, “Marry me, Sue?” I always await Sue’s hiring a second airplane to quickly fly back and respond, “No. But that was dramatic.” and a moment later, “PS.  And you know I go by Susanne, you cheapskate.”

There’s the inevitable placing a “hamburger bun in a microwave oven” to announce a pregnancy when the in-laws come for dinner. And I’ve seen all sorts of ways to disclose the gender of the unborn child as well — from decorating the room entirely in pink and watching the surprise of your unsuspecting spouse (“don’t you know you should open a window when you paint a bedroom?!!”) to wearing a tee shirt with snakes, snails and puppy dog tails on it. Yuck.

But why stop there?

Creative Ways To Tell Or Ask Anyone Anything!

1)  “I ran over a nail and now I have a Flat!” — Put a photo on Facebook depicting your spouse’s overweight mid-section hanging over a belted pair of pants. Draw a notorious red circle with a slash mark over it (like from ghostbusters) Get it? “No Spare Tire!” Wait on the street to see which of your clever friends comes out to help you or calls roadside assistance on your behalf.photo 2 (3)

2)  “Please empty the kitchen trash to the outside cans!” — Find an old Oscar the Grouch stuffed animal or figurine and lay him on the top of the kitchen pail with a thought bubble that says, “Help me. Please bring me home.”photo 1 (4)

3)  “I don’t want to cook tonight.” — Take a tweezers and carefully remove the old fortune out of a chinese cookie.  Write on a new tiny slip of paper, “Confucius say, ‘Ain’t no food happening here. Come to Hunan Garden!'”  Stuff back inside the cookie and leave on empty plate in middle of table.

4) “Son, please clean your bathroom mirror.” — Write on teen son’s mirror in red lipstick, “Mommy loves her deliciously handsome boy forever!”

5) “I got promoted at the office!” — Get out a large step-stool and keep climbing up it. (Note:  It may be tempting to change a light bulb while you are at the top, but this will send the wrong message.)  You are going for “Climbing the corporate ladder.”photo (9)

6) “That’s it! You’re not doing that to me ever again!”  —  bring home a straw dispenser from McDonalds and make sure there’s only one more left.

7) “I’ve got the flu” — Photoshop a picture of yourself with a lot of rain clouds, a sun, some snowflakes, and a big gust of wind all on top of your head. Put on Facebook. Wait and see who brings you chicken soup first.

8) “Sorry dear, I have a headache so we aren’t having sex tonight like you thought.” — Blow bubbles and keep popping them, looking very regretful.

9) “We’re going to Disneyland!”  You can surprise your child with a special call from Mickey Mouse himself to announce the trip!  Details HERE  But if he hasn’t done #2 or #4 on this list, you might want to proceed to #10.

10) “Ha-Ha, Gotcha! You believed me when I actually made the whole thing up.”  Get out a really thick knit sweater and put it on over your child’s head, stopping right below their forehead so they can’t possibly see anything through it.  After they realize you just “pulled the wool over their eyes,” be sure and blow some more bubbles and pop them ever so regretfully.

11.  “Little Miss Menopause, you’re cruel and your blog is awful. We’re finished!” — Go into WordPress preferences and uncheck the “Follow this blog” box.  Or you could just send me a break-up pizza instead?

photo (8)

 

What are some unusual ways you have announced something?

 

 

 

 

 

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54 thoughts on “Are You Trying To Tell Me Something??

  1. My fav one is the wool pulling over the eyes. 🙂 Makes me think of a link I stumbled upon on FB of people who had just got engaged. One guy managed to get himself tied upside down to some giant machinery, his fiance holding a gun, smiling into the camera in front of a big sign that said “the hunt is over.” I doubt people reading this would opt for your last option but pizza delivered warm with pepperoni is always nice 😉

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  2. I announced the end of my college internship by providing a last will and testament. I bequeathed a virtual item to everybody based on what I’d learned about each of their quirks. I still remember many of them 30 years later.

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  3. I thought for sure you would be sending a glitter gram. How about sending a letter though snail mail with a note inside sending you your allowance since it seems its been taking twice as long for you to do your chores. Perhaps the the quite simple, a small plate of cheese on the table with a note, please enjoy this cheese along with your wine. Thanks again for adding humor to our lives.

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  4. I just can’t bring myself to go to back and unckeck that following box. Besides I’m not in the mood for pizza. So I guess I’m stuck in here, but you know, it’s not a bad place to be.

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        • Hey – – it was my pleasure but people are saying that link does not work either. When we click on your gravatar, it gives your website, but it says “Nothing Found” when clicked on. Please come back and post a WORKING LINK so I can send some readers your way.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Well Stephanie, it has been like pulling teeth, and I’m not even into dentistry. Anyway, I discovered that it helps that when you go to do brain-surgery, it would be beneficial to first have one. Despite that fact, I think (I hope) I’ve fixed the problem.

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  5. I truly don’t know how you managed to cram so much stuff into your head! You are so original and creative, I love the spare tyre one (I’ve got a few of those myself actually)! I have no imagination, so my idea of telling someone we had broken up would be to change the locks on the doors! (I am not known for my subtlety!

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  6. That was a clever way to get us to feed you. Do you really want that many pepperoni pizzas? Or do you also like your pizza with just plain sauciness? I know better than to send you a tropical Hawaiian one, or are you getting your fill of cold, rainy weather? I could send a garlic one to keep us vampires away from your blog.

    You could put alfalfa sprouts on your hearty pizza to indicate a new love interest. Or spinach to show how green you are with envy. Anchovies might say, “something fishy is going on here,” while you fish for compliments. Or you might prefer to be down to earth, and dig into a sweet potato pie.

    I’ll have to see if I can balance Oscar on top of our overflowing kitchen garbage can.

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