You may think our logic is slightly flawed,
Certain we know best, even better than God.
Our kids wear sweaters when we’re really the ones who’re cold.
And good luck throwing us Surprise parties without us wearing a blindfold.
Need to know everything — we’re obsessed with discovering stuff.
You may admonish, “Mind your own business!” but never have to say, “Get off your duff!”
It’s not enough to just know the outer you, we want to know your internals.
That’s exactly why it’s fine for us to snoop thru your diaries and journals!
And if we’re extra polite, saying thank-you and please quite often,
We think you won’t bristle at our demands, in fact we think you’ll soften.
But look at the upside to being one of us — we’re meticulous with wars we’re waging.
We fight about marriage, work, schools, friends, and we’re totally against our own aging!
‘Micromanaging’ — such a vulgar term, we’d never EVER do it!
But alas our “helpful hint” is taken the wrong way, folks just misconstrue it.
So if we cannot manipulate our world at large, you, or even our own mate’s lives,
At least we’re gonna stay in charge of our kid’s health… with the prevention of hives!
Um, that last line was stupid, but controlling peeps are stubborn,
Even over words, language, rhymes, we must try and govern!
And there’s one more thing we’re planning to subtly orchestrate . . .
Bestowing a new name on US, one that promotes a euphoric state.
‘Cuz calling us CONTROL FREAKS is rather harsh, ugly, and bleak.
How about just saying we have special powers due to our technique?
So from now on, “Universal Supervisor” replaces “Control Freak” as our new term.
Can we all just agree on this? I really need to know you’ll confirm!
And ‘cuz we’re certain that most of you find our control issues something to condemn…
Therefore nobody who is “One of Us” will admit that this is actually them.
But I’ll raise my hand proudly (sorta!) because once you get to know me . . . I’m really quite a gem!
Lastly before I leave you, I’m not beyond using guilt to influence and apply a little pressure,
If you don’t leave me a comment, nobody will know you exist or that you’re such a WordPress treasure!