I have officially been blogging for 3.5 years now and the people who are my biggest fans (and my best supporters!) are those I haven’t even met (yet!) and who’ve never watched me grow up and feel no particular attachment to my success. That’s right — all my cyber friends really go out of their way to cheer me on. But what about my adoring family and all my real world “in the flesh” friends, you ask? They absolutely cannot be bothered to give my blog the time of day. In fact, I just eavesdropped on this conversation the other day from two people who love me very much.
My Grandmother: So what does our girl do all day long again? She’s a Bragger? A Blotter? A Blooper? A Blabber?
My Mother: She’s a Blogger!
My Grandmother: And for this we sent her to college? What does she put on her blog anyhow?
My Mother: They’re called pillars or poles. Something like that.
Me: (bursts into room) Posts, Ma. I put posts on my blog.
That’s actually not so bad. We don’t really expect people who aren’t in this field to understand what it is we do. That’s fairly innocent. But did you know that not only are the people you’re closest to in real life not supportive, they’re downright hoping your blog gets shut down?
Why Real People Want You To Quit Blogging!
- THREATENED: If you announce that you’re starting a blog, heaven help you. Be prepared to get sabotaged. Just like those who proclaim they’re starting a diet and suddenly homemade Toll House cookies on platters are left on doorsteps by friends who’ve never baked before in their life. Your success as a blogger means that people will spend less time with you because (let’s face it) blogging can consume your every waking moment.
- SLOTHFUL: If you don’t write stuff, they won’t have to pretend to read stuff! Your family and friends are incredibly lazy. Just let that sink in for a moment. At family reunions, I hand my brother printed out pages of my blog because I know he won’t ever bother to click on the links I text him. And this way I can oversee which parts he likes by monitoring his facial expressions as I peer over his shoulder while he reads. “What?? That line about how controlling our mother is doesn’t even get a chuckle?” I chastise. “I think it warrants a guffaw at the very least.” The Laugh Police is out in full force.
- FEARFUL: They don’t want to be IN your blog. That’s right. We’re in need of material and they’re the ones we have daily contact with. My family and friends preface everything they tell me now with, “And this stays between us! So don’t even think about sneaking it on your blog even if you change my name, my gender, or my profession.” My 15.5 year-old daughter refuses to learn to drive unless I give up blogging. I am bribing her to get behind the wheel, my pen poised.
- NO CONTROL: You’ve entered the blogosphere and are socializing with a whole new set of people named, “Food For Thought” and “Diary of a Scatterbrain” and frankly the people in your normal daily life can’t come along to these Posting Parties. They will wonder if someone who goes by “Biff Sock Pow!” is a harmless comic book character or looking to do you real harm.
- SOUR GRAPES: They’re jealous because they secretly wanted to start their own blog but you already beat them to it — so now it looks like they’re just big fat copycats without an original idea in their head. Work with me on this one, will ya? It could be possible.
- MAGAZINES: They’re old school and believe the only real way to ingest information, entertainment, and knowledge is to turn tangible pages in their hot little hands. Every time I get published, it never fails that my mother asks, “Which magazine? Cosmo? Glamour, People?” And I always say, “It’s going up on an online blog, Ma. But it gets a million hits a year!” Only to hear her retort, “I hope they have good insurance. Those hit and run drivers, I’ll tell you. They cause lots of damage.”
- MEMORY ISSUES: There are a percentage of your friends who can’t even remember your name, let alone what you wrote on today’s post. They’re wanting to avoid the grilling and interrogation that inevitably happens if they become a regular reader. When I was married, I regularly quizzed my husband on what he thought of my topics, the title, the hook, the ending, and if he found anything that needed fixing like typos or punctuation. I desperately wanted his input but he couldn’t recollect a thing about my blog. It got so bad that he finally told me he was resigning as my editor because he had “Correctile dysfunction.”
- JUST ANOTHER NUMBER: Your family and friends don’t want to turn into a run of the mill statistic. They know you watch your Google analytics like a hawk and you can see when or IF they’ve tuned in to your blog. And if they did read it, but failed to leave a “like” or a “comment” — well that’s a crime punishable to the fullest extent of the relationship. That’s right! If they’re going to give you the silent treatment on your blog, you’re not going to speak to them in real life.
- FOLLOW THE LEADER: Many people bristle at the thought that they’re gonna become one of your “followers.” “Really??” My cousin recently told me. “I watched you grow up, a goofy little girl who stuttered and wore “waiting for a flood” pants with your Farrah Fawcett hairdo which by the way you somehow still wear today? Farrah Fawcett went down the drain in the 80’s, ya know. I should follow you? I’d rather play Simon Says!”
And there you have it. Nine creative reasons why the people in your life want you to delete your blog. And a few more interesting explanations (justifications) would be left in the comment section below, by all my well-meaning friends and relatives — but NONE of them will ever read my blog!
Important Note: if you have real life relationships who genuinely WANT to be the wind beneath your wings with regards to your blogging craft, but they’re not sure how — immediately direct them right HERE because this is brilliant advice authored by a Christine Carter, (a highly supportive cyber friend of mine!) that will guide them on exactly how they can help you and perhaps more importantly, WHY they should help you.
This is hilarious! Especially the part about them not wanting to be *in* the blog 🤣
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
Stephanie
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Haha, I can relate to some of it. I had this one friend that wrote, but she never started a blog and I wondered what was up with her never paying my blog a visit. (I literally begged for her opinion because I love her style of writing). But to each his own – if it makes them feel bad, they should stay away. Or start their own blog 🙂
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This is so true omg! That’s why I only told like 3 people who are interested in blogs and want to start their own.
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Thank you. Those are some great tips. I am new to wordpress and this motivated me a lot. Also, I would love some feedback on my own blog. Do check it out. 🙂
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I don’t know if its so much wanting us to fail (bar one or two people maybe!), but often just a case of “Good grief..more social media stuff to deal with, I’m overloaded as it is”. And lets face it, nobody wants to feel obligated to Like, Follow and such. And I don’t want that either; I would rather have followers who genuinely enjoy reading my blog. 🙂
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That was funny! 😉 Thanks for the tips though… I honestly was going to email my friend my site…
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So true! I proof read everything myself cos I can’t even imagine asking friends or family. Glass eyed!!
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Right? They would be so put out! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment on this!
Stephanie
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As for the fearful factor, I had to add this to my About page:
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How ironic! I have had comments saying, “Wow. I can’t believe this happened to too!” And I always feel like writing back, “Double wow. I can’t believe you WOULD believe this really happened to me!” Lol. First person really throws some people off, eh?? Thanks so much for reading and taking time to chime in here!
Stephanie
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I’ve just started my blog and so far I haven’t told anyone – probably because I suspect that this will be the result when I do… based on the reaction I got when I mentioned that I was thinking about it. I mentioned it to two people dear to me, my man and my sister. I was pretty surprised at the reactions – quite the opposite of what I expected. My man was all for it, thought it was a great idea and every day asks if I have progressed with it. My sister on the other hand was a little less supportive and has yet to ask if I have given it any more thought.
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Bravo for putting this in writing! And on your blog, no less! 🙂 I get pretty good traffic on my site and almost none of it is family or friends. I’ve often wondered why but, after 5 years, I’m (mostly) over it. You raise some really good points here.
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Thanks Lesley! I’m so glad you popped in here again. I only got brave enough to put it on my blog because I know none of “them” will ever read it! Ha.
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Ha! Probably true, so no need to worry. 🙂
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Sometimes I felt as though I just announced that I signed on to a network marketing company and was threatening to fill their garages with soap so I could meet a quota.
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I’ve been blogging for six years now and a lot of what you write I can relate to! But I’ve also found that the family I have created, my husband and my kids have been very supportive. And my parents have really come along. My mom now reads me!! Lol! It was after her friends told them that they read me, but whatever! Lol!
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Great post.I could relate to some of the things.Looking forward to be a part of your blogging journey.Wishing you a great week ahead!
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You nailed it! 👏
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Thank you Funky Bunkie!
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Thank you …you made me laugh out loud.
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oh my god I only posted my first blog today and I witnessed all kinds things which you have mentioned.
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Ha! This is awesome!
I don’t even bother discussing my blog (I’m still very new to the craft) with my real life friends and family. In fact, I’m pretty sure that most of them don’t even know that I’m doing it at all. Though, I can’t see how they wouldn’t be supportive, I feel like it’s my own little slice of the internet, just for me (an everyone else that I don’t know).
I do discuss it with my hubby seeing that he is my proofreader. He is very supportive. Keep up the good work, and don’t let em get ya down 🙂
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Sure. I get the same ice cold attitude from my social media friends who know me in real life. Not the ones I’ve never met. Just started blogging a couple of months ago. Great post. Thanks.
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Hi, Stephanie!
First of all, thanks for the shout-out in the post. It made me giddier than I care to mention.
Secondly, this is a wonderful, insightful, and depressingly true post. I had not pondered the “whys” before, but I’ve definitely noticed a coolness from family members concerning my blogs (and writing in general). That’s why I blog anonymously now. I love my fellow bloggers immensely because they are so supportive! Besides, my “real life” friends and family not knowing I blog gives me a certain amount of freedom to say whatever I want. Now I find myself writing what I want to write, and not what I think they will want to read. It’s been very liberating.
Thanks for another great blog post!
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Seems I may fit into the cyber admirer or cyber lover. I do admire your work. Perhaps this will jostle those you know well to support you more. Keep on blooping, blotting, and of course blogging. Perhaps I should read Christine’s blog again.
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They’re just jealous. You can write and they can’t. You can be funny and they can’t.
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Aww so sweet Don, thank you. Same thing in your case!
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Ha! Usually I think people just don’t understand how important blogging is to you when you throw yourself into it. They think it’s like a side hobby that you spend 5 minutes on every couple of days.
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That’s such a great point. They think we’re just stamp collecting or oil painting. Thank you for reading/commenting!
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I love this! & I must say you are an excellent blogger. I guess I can learn a thing or two from you. Stay shining!
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Well thank you so much, very flattered.
Stephanie
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I giggled and snorted and nodded through this, Stephanie! I especially love your hilarious interactions with your ma. OMG so funny… YOU are so funny!
IF I ever bring up my blog or my writing with certain friends or family- (and by now I’ve learned to seldom to it) I usually get this awkward silence or blank stare. Yeah that. LOL
I often whisper to myself, “And…moving on!”
They don’t get it. They really don’t. I wish they would at least try to, anyway. But life is life and people live it and get distracted by it and often, going out of our way for others is a good intention with no action. AND this is why we writers/bloggers band together and become so close and appreciative of one another! I DO love that part about it all. ❤
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I’m kinda a mixed bag – my close family (the kids who live with me) and some of my co-workers read my blog…the rest of my family (parents, siblings, etc…) don’t.
But…then again, the split occurs down religious lines. The hard-core Christians in my family don’t read me – probably because I infuriate them to no end with my lack-of-embracing-the-Bible mentality.
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My husband is being Hugely supportive and encouraging, (probably because it’s still very early days!)…I’ve been blogging for about 1 month and I have a grand total of 3 followers who are personal friends. But what I really would like are ‘proper’ followers, who are following/liking me because they want to be there.
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Wow this post is on point, since my move here in wordpress, I think my husband stops reading my blog, I only have one friend who is very supportive because she’s a blogger too. My other friends just don’t care that I have a blog. Following you now.
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Right? Bloggers are so much better than real life people. They know how to read, they know how to be supportive, they know how to not be nincompoop’s when you write brilliant things.
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I’m not sure bloggers are better than real life people. But I agree that real life people often do not understand bloggers. it is a personal thing. I remember prior to blogging I did not understand it either.
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I always understood blogging. A place where writers could go to put their thoughts. But you are right, I’m just being a little sarcastic.
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You said it all, when you where married that you quized your husband as to how your post was. Women……. But I can help since as my name says I’m a priest. Ask the Lord what he thinks, or not, just be happy to be able to afford a computer.
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Good topic to write about. I somehow feel like you did this because I didn’t laugh at your last peace about the food. Was that what inspired you?
Sent from my iPhone
>
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Hi Mom! Believe it or not, I made peace with you not laughing at that piece! Thanks for reading this!
Steph
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This is ridiculously on point. Thank you for saying what I have been thinking so much lately. YAS!!
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And Thank YOU for reading and taking time to comment. Means a lot! Stephanie
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Hi Stephanie,
I plan on writing about this topic in the near future. I can relate. I guess great minds think alike. I hope you count me as one of your cyber friends. I’m a big fan of you and your blog.
Janice
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Hi Janice! I can’t wait to read that when you post it. You’re amazing and all my readers need to check you out immediately if not sooner! (Seriously folks, Janice’s site is a goldmine! And she’s extremely supportive!)
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Awww… blogger love back at you! Thank you so much!
Janice
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My wife isn’t opposed to my blog, but I always tell her there are strangers all over the world that read me more often that she does. As for friends, they tell me they read it, but the four likes for my blog on FB tells me otherwise. I just enjoy the positive feedback regardless of who it comes from and I now consider a lot of strangers all over the world as “real friends.”
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Hi! I just followed you and am kicking myself for not doing it sooner. Awesome blog you’ve got with The Phil Factor.
Stephanie
ps. How does your wife react when you gently remind her that you’re revered the world wide? 😉
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Hi Stephanie! Sadly my wife doesn’t seem to appreciate my blog as much as the rest of the world. Thanks for the follow!
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#3 and #8. No. 3 I don’t get because they put more personal information on their Facebook timeline. and No. 8 I have to agree. I do not like the term followers either, and try never use. Great and bold post. Thanks for shairng.
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Very funny blog!!!!! There are exceptions to the rule, of course. I’ve heard that those haters never include living, supportive Aunts– but that could be an Old Wive’s Tale.
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…happy to be “just another number” liking your blog…
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You’re the ultimate in supportiveness! And apparently that’s not even a word because it got a red underline. But you’re all that and a bag of chips! 😉
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Isn’t this the truth!! I think non-bloggers are just jealous. Or naive. Us bloggers (assumingely) have great writing abilities and we choose to present our ideas in an orderly and innocent fashion. In turn, we experience all the thoughtful and interesting comments, feedback, and wisdom all from complete strangers!! And most of the time it’s positive feedback. I love blogging and many of my friends will never understand exactly what I love about it. But, It’s pretty clear i’m here to write, read, and encourage myself and others. And you are too! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Wow, that was such an insightful comment. You really hit the nail on the non-writer’s head. Thank you!
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No problem at all! Most of us bloggers seem to be criticized by our friends. I’m sure our friends and family mean well, but they will never understand how much we value our writing, and all the feedback. Take care!
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Very true!
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Thank you for saying so!
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Seriously … lol I was JUST saying THIS EXACT SAME THING!!! Which is why I recently posted a picture on my facebook saying … “I would rather be alone, than surrounded by people who pretend to care.” … FOR THIS EXACT REASON. Why is it that those who “love” us, or even “like” us, want us to fail … Why won’t they help to “share”, “like”, or God forbid … “COMMENT”!??! ;-// It drives me nuts. My “friends” don’t even like the crap I share regarding my blog … I know they’re freaking reading it!!! Also … why can’t any of your “friends”, talk to you about your blog?? Like, give a little feedback … thoughts, suggestions … ANYTHING?!?!? It’s like you have to pull f’ing teeth, JUST to get some type of remark … Screw them, I say!!! LMAO!! Ahhhhh … thanks for this post … it helped … a little. LMAO … ~The Other Stephanie~
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Hi OS (That’s you from now on!)
RIght?? Why does showing interest in our passion somehow make their life less passionate?? Thanks for reading this!
Stephanie Too (ST)
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Lol OS & ST .. I love it!! 😉
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Stephanie…it’s your cousin Ethel. I just wanted you to know that I supported you when all the others didn’t. I read the entire first paragraph. Great post!
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Haha! I laughed so hard the kittens stared!
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Oh, how I can relate! I will say, at least my skin has grown a little thicker and I’m no longer taking most of my family’s lack of interest or support to heart. As you said, thank goodness for our cyber friends!
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Thank you Kate! I just don’t think they realize that it’s become a real part of us and by showing no interest, it’s very symbolic to us. Ugh! Thanks for reading/commenting.
Stephanie
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