Do You Have Blog Blur? Take This Quiz!

fullsizerender-37BLOG BLUR – noun. The insidious and dangerous blurring of the boundaries between your Blogging life and the real world. “My husband cited “Blog Blur” as his reason for divorcing me. The judge gave him the house”

*Choose the answer that best describes how you feel about the question.

1. When You talk about individuals named,  “LivelyTwist” and “Morning Grouch” and “Surviving Butterfly” and “GlueStickMum” and “Writey McWriteface” and “Bitter Ben” or “Shallow Reflections,”  your family and friends assume you are referring to:

a)  New Muppet Characters that are making a debut on Sesame Street  this week  to teach kids about Feelings

b)  Some very troubled individuals in the new Twelve Step Anonymous program you recently attended

c)  Very real (and talented) Bloggers that you often have communications with

2.  A member of your household lost their job. A good friend recently started a steamy love affair. Your child got a C- on a History exam. A second cousin (who’s a painter) named her newborn baby, “Hunter Green.”  All of these people have this in common:

a) They call you for support, encouragement, understanding or applause.

b) They communicate their latest happenings with you in clever holiday newsletters

c) They advise you that this recent information is copyrighted, trademarked, or patented and under no circumstances are you to blog about it!

3.  When you complain about having trouble with your dashboard, your significant other:

a) Makes an appointment with the Toyota dealer to have the warning lights and the speedometer looked at.

b)  Looks puzzled regarding this new sport of yours and tells you to stick with a snowboard, surfboard, or even a hoverboard.

c) Immediately logs into WordPress.com and says triumphantly, “Well, here’s your problem right here.  You’re blogging too damn much!”

4. A Daily Prompt is:

a) An intriguing word or scenario that motivates you to write a creative new blog post

b) My body’s signal that I need chocolate

c) A note I leave on the dishwasher for other household members that says, “Empty Me Now!”

5.  If someone inquires about Stats:

a) You smile, bat your lashes, and tell them yours are, “36-23-36, of course.

b) You rattle off the number of TD’s, Interceptions, Fumbles and Passes Complete for the Seattle Seahawks and loudly assert they should have won the Super Bowl in 2015.

c) Whip out a computerized print-out, a yellow highlighter, and show the person how many hits your blog is currently receiving from Egypt.

6. Someone asks you to please stop following them. Do you? . . .

a) Apply the brakes and remember that in driver’s training you learned it should be one car length per every 10 mph.

b) Remind them that it’s a free country and if you want to wear skinny jeans with a paisley plaid flannel shirt and a backwards baseball cap, you will.  They don’t have a monopoly on fashion!

c)  Immediately click the “Unfollow” button on your blog.  You’ll show them!  They were lucky you gave them the time of day in the first place.

7.  When someone asks if you are happy with the new Post, you:

a)  Nod and offer to give them the name of the contractor that built the entire side fence around your house.

b)  Tell them, “Absolutely not, the price of stamps these days is outrageous.”

c) Launch into a diatribe about how many drafts it took you and how nobody left a single Like or a Comment.

8.  When you remind your kids to Share, you actually mean:

a)  You’ve given them extra cookies in their lunchbox and they should pass them out to friends.

b)  They should raise their hand and give an opinion when a teacher asks, “Class, what do you think?”

c) “For god’s sake, post a link to my latest blog on your Instagram and Facebook accounts or you’re losing your cellphone for a week!”

9. After you Tag, you:

a) Shout, “You’re it!” or “Gotcha last!”

b) Wipe your fingerprints off the can of spray paint so nobody traces the upcoming election graffiti back to you.

c) Hope and pray that every search engine in the world brings up your blog first

10.  Someone has asked you what kind of Views you have?  You:

a)  Say there are some decent ones from your backyard but your home would be worth much more if you could see the ocean from your bedroom window.

b)  Politely state that neither candidate is fit to run this country.

c)  Spout off an embarrassingly low number but tell them you’re working on publicizing your blog more (even offering prizes!) so you’re sure it will grow to be thousands.

* SCORING: Mostly A’s – Congratulations! You’re able to compartmentalize and keep both aspects of your life in order.  Mostly B’s – Your Worlds Are Colliding just like George Costanza in Seinfeld.  Mostly C’s – You have Blog Blur so bad, even Extra Strength Mindex won’t wipe away your confusion.  GET SOME HEALTHY SEPARATION RIGHT NOW!  (Right after you leave me a comment below!)

Hate me here? But you can still “Like” me on Facebook, can’t you??  Just click HERE!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/dilemma/

Be a Nice Blogger – – Don’t Spread Blumors!

Have you heard the latest Blossip?  There’s a certain Bleached Blonde Blogger who posts photo-200her black bleather blurbs shorter than mid-bligh and you can almost see her blotch!

In some ways, the blogging world is no different from the real one. There’s an “Online Grapevine,” where often in the blink of a blye, you can be blogsided by a big Bloggermouth;  your Blog blackened, blemished,  bloglisted or even blogcotted forever.

Exactly Like This . . .

Blanche:  Remember “Blaine, the Blunt Blogger Bloke?”

Blaire:  Yeah?  What about him?

Blanche:  Well Blumor has it that he blirted with “Blossom, the Blushing Bridal Blogger” after she got herself a bloob-job and then on their very first draft, she gave him a blog-job.

Blaire:  The Blussy!

Blanche:  They’ve since blended their blogs, trying hard to get blognant.  Finally the Bloctor prescribed blertility drugs and she got blocked-up with Bliplets.

Blaire:  No!

Blanche:  And Blythe, the Bluebonnet Blogstress who does fashion?

Blaire:  Yes?

Blanche:  Was seen blogging in a blazer blouse from Bloomingdales that made her look bloated!

Blaire:  Does she think her followers are blind?

Blanche:  It’s a blunder she doesn’t lose them all!

In order to prevent Blumors and Blossip from spreading, a Blogger must first be able to decipher what’s being said about himself or a Beloved Blogger Buddy/Brother.  Alas, rest easy my Dear Reader  – –  for I have taken it upon myself to become your very own personal Blogger Bleacher (Teacher) and will now offer a Translation to Today’s Blogging Blanguage.

Presenting:  The Totally Incomplete (check back as more will be added) Guide To Blogger Blingo!

Clogger Blogger– – A Dutch dancer who writes a blog.

Blogtose Intolerant – –  A person afflicted with this terrible probloglem gets cramps if they even come within 5 ft of  WordPress.com. Closely related to Irritable Blog Syndrome.

Hitnosis – – Going into a mesmerizing trance as you refresh your Stats page 85 times.

Blogdrop – – To keep mentioning a certain blog that has been numerously Freshly Pressed because it brings one clout.

Everlasting BlogStopper – – Willy Wonka’s new gumball sized candy that Mr. Blogworth tries to steal.

Boogie Woogie Bugle Blogger – – One who types to the rhythm of World War II music.photo-201

Sprog – – A blog that originates in the warmish season following Winter.

Blawkward – – That moment when you hype your blog to someone and you realize they could care less as they overtly Blawn (yawn) in your face.

You Ain’t Nothing But a HoundBlog – – Tune someone sings when a Blogger incessantly sends a “friend” a link to their latest post, after that friend has changed their email address. Twice.

Blaless – – A woman who runs a bare-breasted blog.

A Pot Roast/Post – – Bloggers gather at a banquet to poke fun (often good-naturedly) at both a man’s blog and his wife’s cooking.

A Bleeper Blooper Blanker Blogger – – One who blogs using profanity or frequently substitutes symbols &*%$ so the reader must constantly fill in the blanks.

Bloco – – Means “A crazy Blogger” in Mexico.  But in the U.S., you can order chicken at a fast food place called  “El Blollo Bloco.”

A Past Post Pest – – Someone who keeps “replaying” their older posts again and again, so that each new Follower will read them.

A Blogan – – An advertising bloy (ploy) to blure (lure)  someone to their blog.  Read more about Blogans (Blogs + Slogans) as well as blog-branding, when you click HERE. 

The Father, Son & the Holy Post – – When Daddy & Me time at the computer takes on a religious tone.

A Snotty-Blotty or a Blog-Snob – – One who is hoity-toity and disables their comments to the public, only letting their BBF’s (Best Blends Forever) (who’ve known them since childhood) leave seriously snooty remarks.

Bladder Blogging – – That gross act of multi-tasking when a blogger posts from his bathroom.

Blimp – – This happens to a man’s fingers when he tries to blog in front of a woman he’s just met.photo-203

I hope this Blargon helps you navigate through the Blumor Mill.  But just like in the real world, please use the information you read here for purposes of Good (to put an end to the Blossip)  If you plan on being Bleaky (Sneaky) and using this Blocab (vocab) for ill-will, then leave me a comment and I will make sure to pass it on that you are the “Biggest BusyBody Blogger” this side of the Blississippi.