I spent many a childhood evening around the kitchen table eschewing Monopoly because my brother stole from the bank and pretended to flatten my Hat token with his Iron one. That’s when Clue became my game of choice. And oh — the pertinent things it taught me!
SCARLET – – I learned that Miss Scarlet is either a southern Belle with a petulant personality (and an 18 inch waist!) who makes sure that men frankly DO give a damn or she’s a smoldering femme fatale character with a long cigarette holder who would be pronounced guilty if “looks could kill.” I realized that by choosing Miss Scarlet, I would ALWAYS be entitled to go first in the game. After all, it was written in the rules, which I would eagerly drag out to prove to anyone who mistakenly thought the highest roll on the dice determined order. But I would have picked Miss Scarlet anyhow, even if she was destined to go last (although I’m quite sure all men wanted to be behind her!) because aside from Veronica (in the Archies) I had very few raven-haired role models. From my eleven year-old perspective, she was both smart and sexy plus from her starting position, she could quickly sneak into “The Lounge” where everyone knew was the prime place to knock someone off. Yes, I got into many a rowdy tussle with my female cousins who claimed Miss Scarlet before we even removed the lid to the box. Disclaimer: I never used a lead pipe on any of them.
WEAPONS — Having grown up with a father whose idea of fixing the plumbing was letting his fingers do the walking in the Yellow Pages, I learned from Clue that a Wrench was a murder weapon, not a tool. The first time my handy boyfriend came over, noticed my leaky sink and pulled a wrench from his car — I was already dialing 911 to report domestic abuse.
PALACE — I learned that when I grew up, I wanted an opulent house (like the Clue board) with its own Billiard Room, Library and Conservatory. And since when is a “Hall” a special room in and of itself? In our home, a narrow hallway led to a dingy bathroom – sadly the hall was the only way we got from the kitchen to the washer/drier. There were no “secret passageways.” Deprivation.
COERCION — I learned that you can pressure your opponents into giving you information you need by moving your token into the Kitchen (when you already hold a card for the kitchen) and then asking to see either Mr. Green (when you already hold a card for him as well) and the Knife. Nowadays, I walk into our kitchen and upon seeing a knife (with some crumbs) I’m able to force a character named Mr. Son (who wears a green shirt) to admit guilt in eating the last piece of cheesecake.
ENTERTAINMENT — I learned that when you run out of things to write about, you can use board games to create a blog that breaks you into The Huffington Post like I did here. Or you can just create a movie like they did in 1985 when they turned Clue into a feature length film starring Leslie Ann Warren as my favorite, Miss Scarlet. However, this was no “Whodunnit” plot but instead it was a “Howdunnit?” How DID they keep her from falling out of that dress??
WINNING — I learned that whenever I beat my family at Clue, my “prize” was getting to put the game away. Interestingly, when I lost — my penalty was also . . . yep, you guessed it! Let’s just say I wasn’t the sharpest weapon in the arsenal.
FLIRTING — When I played Clue with a boy I had a crush on, I learned to wear a red dress, flutter my Miss Scarlet eyelashes at his Colonel Mustard’s hot-dog, and try to land in the Ballroom a lot to see if he would ever get the hint and ask me to a school dance. I then learned this never worked. Nowadays, I just beat the pants off men I like in Scrabble, while spelling out their favorite seven letter word, “Bedroom.”
Thank you Parker Brothers for all the valuable life lessons!
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I loved Clue growing up. We have family game night with the kids and I hadn’t thought to play this one. I’ll have to buy one soon and introduce them to it!
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Ahhh…I was deprived. Monopoly was our game. Never did play CLUE. I guess that was because in a New York Italian family you always knew whodunnit. Another good one Bunkie…as is the Huff Post piece.
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LOL. Stephanie, what a great endorsement for why kids should still be playing with board games rather than sitting in from to the computer :). I would have picked Ms. Scarlett, too. I love the analysis between lessons learned and how this applies to your life today.
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Loved the column and loved the game! Have to go dig it out of the closet!
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I’ll take that challenge. You’re on!
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We called them bored games. 🙂
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Not if you sang while you played. 😉
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WEAPONS and ENTERTAINMENT…..hilarious lessons! ;-))
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Thank you Joy – – Weapons ARE entertainment when you have four sons!
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Well surely it was Miss Scarlet in the den with her cunning typewriter then! The pen is mightier than the sword, you know.
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Ahh thank you, you’ve given me an idea for a new game altogether. Quick, where’s Hasbro?
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Getting them on the phone right now…
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I have no clue what you’re talking about. Monopoly ruled, with Chinese Checkers and Parcheesi, in our house as I was growing up 😉
Monopoly is where I practiced going for extremes: I held out for the cheapest and most expensive streets, and put up hotels or nothing.
I also learned about regional differences: different homes had different rules. Some accumulated huge amounts of money in the center of the board — taxes and other non-banking expenses — to be awarded to the person who landed on Free Parking. Others (like my frugal home) put nothing in the “pot”.
And I practiced compassion. We could get out of jail with 7, 11, OR doubles, and we always got out free eventually.
Sexism kicked in, too: girls had the iron and thimble; boys had the hat and horse.
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Dear Grace – – I am always aware that I miss your visiting and comments but never more than when I get a clever one like this!
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You always give me Cleverness Clues, Steph. But when the Crone of Clever tells me that what I wrote was clever, then I am driven back to my pen and paper to see if I can produce more…
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No, not a howdunnit. Half of the audience thought it was a whydunnit…
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Ha! Very good.
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We call; it Cluedo over here in the UK, and Miss Scarlett is blonde. However , she still comes across as a bit of a tart (albeit a classy one)! It didn’t stop me from wanting to play as her, although I usually ended up as the more frumpy Mrs White or elderly Mrs Peacock as I have quite a few siblings who can fight better than me! (I soon paid them back when I whacked their character over the lead with a bit of lead piping (What IS that)? and bumped them off in the kitchen!
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Miss Scarlet was a blonde?!? I better do my research better. Wow. And “bumping someone off in the kitchen” happens nearly every night in my home. My cooking. Thanks for your comment!
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Ha Ha! Well you wouldn’t make a very good Mrs White then (or maybe you would….Mrs White, in the kitchen with the pasta)!!!
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What? How did you get into my childhood psyche?! I was Miss Scarlett and I’d just play with the board and counters and imagine what an amazing house it was! Why do so few houses have secret passageways? Didn’t architects ever play Cluedo? The murder stuff was always secondary to the lifestyle!
And the film? Up there with Bugsy Malone for best film of my childhood!
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I used a secret passageway to enter your childhood psyche, Ms. GSM! And I’m coming to visit again soon. (Your blog, not your psyche!)
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By now your brother is probably out of jail or still attempting to roll doubles. I have heard that there is quite a view from your library. I would pick you more with the rope. Tying up your victim or were you tied up? You can’t have it both or can you. Ms. Scarlet was smart enough not to leave any plum sauce or mustard on herself.
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You’re always leaving me the saucy replies. 😉
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All this is great. But what I really want to know. Did you figure out the best place to hide the body?
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Ha! I can always count on you for the thought provoking clever questions. Me figure out how to hide someone’s body? I’m still trying to figure out how to hide my own figure!
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It’s a rough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Might as well be me.
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