We’ve all heard about the witty ways a man has proposed to a woman, like hiring a skywriter to spell out, “Marry me, Sue?” I always await Sue’s hiring a second airplane to quickly fly back and respond, “No. But that was dramatic.” and a moment later, “PS. And you know I go by Susanne, you cheapskate.”
There’s the inevitable placing a “hamburger bun in a microwave oven” to announce a pregnancy when the in-laws come for dinner. And I’ve seen all sorts of ways to disclose the gender of the unborn child as well — from decorating the room entirely in pink and watching the surprise of your unsuspecting spouse (“don’t you know you should open a window when you paint a bedroom?!!”) to wearing a tee shirt with snakes, snails and puppy dog tails on it. Yuck.
But why stop there?
Creative Ways To Tell Or Ask Anyone Anything!
1) “I ran over a nail and now I have a Flat!” — Put a photo on Facebook depicting your spouse’s overweight mid-section hanging over a belted pair of pants. Draw a notorious red circle with a slash mark over it (like from ghostbusters) Get it? “No Spare Tire!” Wait on the street to see which of your clever friends comes out to help you or calls roadside assistance on your behalf.
2) “Please empty the kitchen trash to the outside cans!” — Find an old Oscar the Grouch stuffed animal or figurine and lay him on the top of the kitchen pail with a thought bubble that says, “Help me. Please bring me home.”
3) “I don’t want to cook tonight.” — Take a tweezers and carefully remove the old fortune out of a chinese cookie. Write on a new tiny slip of paper, “Confucius say, ‘Ain’t no food happening here. Come to Hunan Garden!'” Stuff back inside the cookie and leave on empty plate in middle of table.
4) “Son, please clean your bathroom mirror.” — Write on teen son’s mirror in red lipstick, “Mommy loves her deliciously handsome boy forever!”
5) “I got promoted at the office!” — Get out a large step-stool and keep climbing up it. (Note: It may be tempting to change a light bulb while you are at the top, but this will send the wrong message.) You are going for “Climbing the corporate ladder.”
6) “That’s it! You’re not doing that to me ever again!” — bring home a straw dispenser from McDonalds and make sure there’s only one more left.
7) “I’ve got the flu” — Photoshop a picture of yourself with a lot of rain clouds, a sun, some snowflakes, and a big gust of wind all on top of your head. Put on Facebook. Wait and see who brings you chicken soup first.
8) “Sorry dear, I have a headache so we aren’t having sex tonight like you thought.” — Blow bubbles and keep popping them, looking very regretful.
9) “We’re going to Disneyland!” You can surprise your child with a special call from Mickey Mouse himself to announce the trip! Details HERE But if he hasn’t done #2 or #4 on this list, you might want to proceed to #10.
10) “Ha-Ha, Gotcha! You believed me when I actually made the whole thing up.” Get out a really thick knit sweater and put it on over your child’s head, stopping right below their forehead so they can’t possibly see anything through it. After they realize you just “pulled the wool over their eyes,” be sure and blow some more bubbles and pop them ever so regretfully.
11. “Little Miss Menopause, you’re cruel and your blog is awful. We’re finished!” — Go into WordPress preferences and uncheck the “Follow this blog” box. Or you could just send me a break-up pizza instead?
What are some unusual ways you have announced something?
hahaha! loved it! 😉 amazing read!
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My fav one is the wool pulling over the eyes. 🙂 Makes me think of a link I stumbled upon on FB of people who had just got engaged. One guy managed to get himself tied upside down to some giant machinery, his fiance holding a gun, smiling into the camera in front of a big sign that said “the hunt is over.” I doubt people reading this would opt for your last option but pizza delivered warm with pepperoni is always nice 😉
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I announced the end of my college internship by providing a last will and testament. I bequeathed a virtual item to everybody based on what I’d learned about each of their quirks. I still remember many of them 30 years later.
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Reblogged this on nirjanasharma.
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Reblogged this on Cristian Mihai.
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Blow some freakin bubbles!! XD
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lol that’s right – – no bubbles? Alternatively, blow and pop a balloon. “Sorry to burst your balloon but I have a headache” works just fine.
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HAHAHA! Love it!
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Ohhh… I guess I’m not the only one with teenaged sons… I am SO DOING NUMBER 4!!! The eldest is gonna die. Can’t wait to see it.
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Please report back with a photo of your lipstick message! 😉
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Will do!
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Geez, that pizza looks good. Methinks I’m gonna have to put in an order. Love #4 wished I would have thought of that when my sons were younger.
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I know, yum – – I wish there could be “false alarm break-up pizzas” every Friday night. Thanks for the visit!
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Love the break-up pizza. Hopefully you won’t get very many of those. =)
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So honored to have your visit in the New Year! Yeah, but I’ll order a few of my own break-up pizzas when I’m burnt out on cooking. Somedays I wish I could divorce myself.
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LOL…S, good golly, woman, you cr a ck me up. Do ring me up when you learn where we can file for that self-divorce. I’m down for a trip somewhere with you where I won’t have to deal with myself. LOL.
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I thought for sure you would be sending a glitter gram. How about sending a letter though snail mail with a note inside sending you your allowance since it seems its been taking twice as long for you to do your chores. Perhaps the the quite simple, a small plate of cheese on the table with a note, please enjoy this cheese along with your wine. Thanks again for adding humor to our lives.
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Love the late allowance one! And oh yes, cheese with whine….always a nice touch. Thank you!
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I’d send the unfollow pizza, but I ate it already. And all other pizza’s.
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You of all people, I hope will stay. Therefore, get your fill of pizza on me!
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I do like Pizza in, where are you staying? Bellevue? There’s an awesome Pizza Hut there you could buy me a pizza or two at.
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I just can’t bring myself to go to back and unckeck that following box. Besides I’m not in the mood for pizza. So I guess I’m stuck in here, but you know, it’s not a bad place to be.
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Glad you’re “stuck.” And since you’re newish, I’m going to try and start out on the right foot with you! Everyone please visit Paul on his blog, “In My Cluttered Attic” even though it has a different url at https://theemptywearhouse.wordpress.com/ and give him a nice welcome. He found me (or my blog) while at the airport and since I have just conquered my fear of flying, I feel an immediate kinship.
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That was a genuinely nice thing to do Stephanie. Thank you very much, and I really am having a great time reading your blog.
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Hey – – it was my pleasure but people are saying that link does not work either. When we click on your gravatar, it gives your website, but it says “Nothing Found” when clicked on. Please come back and post a WORKING LINK so I can send some readers your way.
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Well Stephanie, it has been like pulling teeth, and I’m not even into dentistry. Anyway, I discovered that it helps that when you go to do brain-surgery, it would be beneficial to first have one. Despite that fact, I think (I hope) I’ve fixed the problem.
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But the link doesn’t work…
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Your brain must never rest. Thanks for the tips. I’m going to Chinatown today and buy a case of fortune cookies…my guys need a BIG hint. Do you want anything while I’m there?
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Get fortune cookies with wide gaps in them so we can easily change out with your own sneaky messages! Nobody can refuse to do what a cookie tells them. Thanks Donna!
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#9 – all the way! (Susanne in your intro…unusual spelling, that.)
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When I met you, I immediately dropped the Z on any characters I had named Susanne!
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“Hands up lady, and drop the Z! Now!”, said the spelling police. (Your really bring out the crazed follower in me, Stephanie – which I enjoy SO much. You make blogging fun.)
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Best compliment ever. Thank you! I remember the day I first tumbled into your blog, I kept having this feeling I “knew you” but now I know it was actually that I WANTED to know you soooo much that it played tricks on my menopausal mind.
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You like me despite my egregious grammar errors. What a gal!
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Stephanie, you take passive aggressive to a whole new level!
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The PA’s (“Pacifists Aggressiveists”) of the world have been waiting for someone to lead, right? 😉
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You’ve found your calling.
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Love No. 4! Am going to have to use that one!
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Oh write icky sweet messages to your teen sons on ALL mirrors of the house – – they’ll never look so spotless!!
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Number 4 beats saying, “Now, how many times do I have to tell . . . .” 🙂
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That’s right, the more mushy gushy – – the cleaner that mirror will be! I’m gonna have to write sentimental stuff in the dust on my car to my son, free car wash! Thanks for stopping in Timi.
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I truly don’t know how you managed to cram so much stuff into your head! You are so original and creative, I love the spare tyre one (I’ve got a few of those myself actually)! I have no imagination, so my idea of telling someone we had broken up would be to change the locks on the doors! (I am not known for my subtlety!
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Changing the locks sends a clear message. The furthest I’ve gone with doors has been slamming them! Thank you!
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There is genius at work here.
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Where? Where? Which way did it go? Cuz I can’t even find my way to your blog!
(link please?)
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That was a clever way to get us to feed you. Do you really want that many pepperoni pizzas? Or do you also like your pizza with just plain sauciness? I know better than to send you a tropical Hawaiian one, or are you getting your fill of cold, rainy weather? I could send a garlic one to keep us vampires away from your blog.
You could put alfalfa sprouts on your hearty pizza to indicate a new love interest. Or spinach to show how green you are with envy. Anchovies might say, “something fishy is going on here,” while you fish for compliments. Or you might prefer to be down to earth, and dig into a sweet potato pie.
I’ll have to see if I can balance Oscar on top of our overflowing kitchen garbage can.
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You’ve done it again!! Put such great icing that nobody is gonna even bother with my cake!! HAHA about the anchovies and fishing for compliments. . . you know me sooooo well! Thank you Grace!
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I’m just catering to the hostess with the mostest 🙂
My spellchecker doesn’t know gefilte! So it is anchovies. Thanks for taking the bait as I fished for your compliments 😉
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oooohhhh….you stinker….hook, line and stinker!
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Bring on the poetry!
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I broke up with a girl named Cookie once. Gave her a chocolate chip cookie all crumbled. Then when she gave me a strange look, I said, “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
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Did you just make that up?? You’re too much!!
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Ha ha ha. Susanne’s revenge is amazing. And the breakup pizza. So many great ways to communicate without actually speaking.
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Yes, sometimes an image is worth 1,001 words! Have a great weekend.
Stephanie
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