When Bloggers’ Worlds Collide! (An offbeat Meet & Greet)


IMG_0083 (1)It was finally happening!   The cleverly hilarious and wise blogger/poetess Marissa Bergen, AKA “The Rock & Roll Supermom” who blogs at Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth was coming to my town and suggested we meet at Starbucks. I don’t even drink coffee!  What would I do with myself for an hour?  How to hide my anxiety if I can’t pour cream in something and stir every five minutes? My anonymity would be shattered! She’ll find me so unfunny in real life, it won’t even be funny. I can only amuse people in writing. I better have some good one-liners and punchlines ready to go in case of emergency.

I had only met one other blogger, and that was only in my imagination right HERE. It didn’t go well!  But my biggest fear with Marissa was that she’d speak in rhymes so witty, I’d look like an idiot if I didn’t at least quote Dr. Seuss.

The Day of Our Meeting I Calmed Myself Down With the Following Reminders:

  1. She’s just a normal, down-to-earth blogger like the rest of us.
  2. She has to log in with a password (and sometimes forgets it) just like I do.
  3. She puts on her titles one word at a time.
  4. She sometimes gets tongue-tied and doesn’t know if what she’s saying even has a point.

And most importantly . . .

She can’t always End her poems with a surprise Twist and a Rhyme.

Surely she’s Penned something that must’ve Missed at one Time??

Everything would work out just fine, I told myself over and over as I played her voicemail on my cell phone which would give me the time and place to meet her. She had an adorable East Coast accent but her final sentence was :

“I look forward to meeting you, oh Stephanie

I think we’ll have lotsa fun, oh definitely!”

OMG! Did you see what she did there with Stephanie and definitely?  It’s starting already!  Nobody’s ever rhymed my name before. I need to funny myself up and FAST!

But first my daughter straightens my 80’s style hair because she always tell me I look like Fran Drescher. Besides Marissa just wrote about hair right HERE.  Next I worry that she won’t recognize me without my trademark pouf.

I drive to Starbucks fretting and meditating on Seinfeld and Shel Silverstein.

I barely got my kids fed supper. Where will I park?  I can’t be late!

Maybe I should take an upper. Will I trip in the dark? That’d be great!

Oh god, my rhythm and meter are so off! And I never use the word, “Supper.”  I say “Dinner.”  What a contrived mess!

I scramble inside Starbucks and see the most beautiful poet standing before me. She embraces me briefly before remembering one of my posts about hating hugs. She says,

Sorry I didn’t mean to hug you.

I sure hope that didn’t bug you.

What??  Such ease and natural fluidity! How can she do that?? What to say? What to do? What would I do if I were on her blog leaving a comment?

“That was terrific, Marissa.  You sure are brilliant.  Was that from the Daily Prompt?  I bet WordPress Freshly Presses this one!”  She looks at me oddly.  Oh here I go.  Putting my foot in my mouth already. I have to calm down. But wait, she’s speaking again.  Listen!

“You’re gonna think that I’m the absolute worst.

But I left our hotel without bringing my purse!”

Well she was a little off on that rhyme, but still!  Unbelievable! Thinking fast on my feet, I mumble . . .

“That’s okay. I do not like coffee in a cup, not in a mug, don’t fill ‘er up.

I do not drink Starbucks at night, so forgetting your wallet is always quite right.

No worries, Sham I am!”

That was horrible. What was I thinking with that one?  I really need to stick to my blog’s gimmick and not cross into her territory.  People begin to stare and Marissa wisely whisks us into a dark corner. We sit down and she tells me how funny my blog is and that I never fail to make her laugh. That’s my cue!  The pressure is really on now! Immediately I scrawl on a napkin:

“Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?”  

I hold it up for her to read. She shakes her head no, a little puzzled. I continue writing on the napkin.

“A hundred soles were lost!”

She discreetly moves her chair back a few inches. So far, so good.

We talk about kids, blogs, and everything under the sun.

We don’t mention squids or dogs, but still we’re having fun!

Whenever there’s a lull in conversation or an awkward silence, I simply hold up one of my pre-printed index cards with a riddle on it. So far I’ve stumped her on three of them. She’s not quite as brilliant as I thought because her jaw just drops and she stares helplessly, clearing her throat.  Who doesn’t know “What’s black and white and read all over?” I mean….c’mon now!

But time flies when you’re away from your bratty kids (mine, not hers!) and before we know it, we must part ways. I walk her out to her car because that’s the polite thing to do with out-of-town guests.

When she opens her driver’s door, that’s when I see it!  A brown leather purse sitting in plain sight on her passenger seat. This is her surprise twist ending!  She had money all along!

She turns to me and recites . . .

I thought I’d be nervous, trip over my words and fall

Or say the wrong thing, or not be able to rhyme at all.

So I decided to intentionally forget my ugly purse,

Giving me lotsa opportunities to speak in verse.

But it was just so perfect, so great, so cool….

As the night unfolded, it was plain you were the bigger fool!

Then we took our photo, gave a final hug and agreed to never speak of this again.

So of course we both went home and blogged about it.

Thank you for the fun, Marissa!

Signed,

Little Miss Menopause (and you thought you’d get “Little Miss Sunshine??”)

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70 thoughts on “When Bloggers’ Worlds Collide! (An offbeat Meet & Greet)

  1. From your story you both had a very nice rhyme. So nice to meet someone after all that blogging. Gives new meaning to lunch being a write off.

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  2. Can I simply say what a relief to discover someone who really
    understands what they’re discussing online. You
    definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
    A lot more people must read this and understand this side of the story.
    I was surprised that you’re not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

    Like

  3. Wow that must have been awesome to meet a fellow blogger in person. Many times some of my blogger friends and I talk about one day making a plan to meet somewhere, and how nice it would be to sit down in person and drink ‘coffee’ together. Lol, I had to quote coffee because I hear you don’t drink it. 🙂

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    • Yes, my dear Steph – – I embellished my worry for fictional fun because Marissa isn’t a fashionista like someone else I know. But meeting you in person??! I would be shaking in my (outdated and ugly) boots a full 24 hours prior 😉

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  4. Isn’t it awesome when you finally get to meet another writer you’ve been following and communicating with on Facebook? I went to a conference last year and met many, but one of the best parts was on my WAY to the conference…I took a little detour to go visit a bloggy buddy in her home town. We met for coffee and chatted for an hour. It was a blast and I promised her I’d do it again when I came to her state for the next conference.

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    • Oh Hi! So nice of you to pop in here and I almost missed your comment! Was the conference BlogHer in 2014, by chance? Because ironically I did the same thing – – took a little detour from San Jose to meet a blogger in San Francisco and was stood up! I guess I intimidated her. Ha….fat chance! Thanks for reading/commenting!

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  5. Yes, Stephanie! See a lot of friends here! What happened with the ‘page not found’ link’? Sometimes when people see that they don’t bother to look and see if it was reposted. Anyway, definitely not a coffee drinker!! By the way, when I was struggling to think of an appropriate poem for our meeting, came up with definitely and epiphany as rhymes with Stephanie (this before I saw your blog). Also, lots of your friends came over for a visit and I got the highest views ever if you don’t count the time wordpress went crazy on me and tried to tell me I had 350 views!!

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  6. At least I can guarantee that there won’t be any anxiety when we meet!….well, at least on your part. You’re the funny, witty one so let me be anxious for both of us. ;-))

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  7. Whahaha!! I laughed my head off!! Stephanie, you ROCK!! I would LOVE to meet you! But I’m not funny so you will definitely be funnier than me 😉 No contest there!

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  8. Wednesday I’m Skyping with a blogger from London. I love her writing and she likes mine. We have many things in common, so I think it will be a grand adventure, but I know what you mean about hoping it goes smoothly. Especially since we have some cultural differences. Brenda

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  9. Now I know why I received it twice – at least you know it made it Down Under! 😉 Another funny post Stephanie! I don’t know what I’d do if one of my readers visited the country/state and suggested meeting. Panic as well no doubt! I’ll have to read Marissa’s posts as well!

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    • Thanks so much!! In truth, neither of us drink coffee drinks (or so she says– she might’ve just been being polite since she had no purse and didn’t want me to buy her anything) so we sat on their chairs taking up table space for nothing. They may have been bursting with annoyance, not pride? Thanks for liking this!

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  10. I met a fellow blogger from South Africa who happened to be in NYC on business. We had an amazing time. He was exactly the same person that I knew from my blog. It was fantastic. I’m glad you had a good experience as well.

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  11. I found you again thanks to Marissa! I don’t know what happened. I blame it on WordPress. I think that is fabulous the two of you had a chance to meet. I’m sure muses were passing out left and right trying to keep. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Read this just now! REally clever and cute! Sorry I can’t think of more descriptive words, but you get that I liked it, right?

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  13. It sounds like both of you were worrying over nothing! I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall listening to you two. I am so glad that it turned out so well for you both and O loved reading about it. 🙂

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  14. Oh goodness Stephanie! This is so great! I’m not sure if you read the one I wrote, but it pales in comparison, so much so that I am now inspired to write another for tomorrow (that is true). I am amazed how detail oriented you are! That’s exactly how I remember it as well!

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