Join us as we pay tribute and catch up with some famous female characters from the classic musical films we’ve all watched zillions of times:
- Saturday Night Fever Dirty Dancing
- Grease Footloose
- Flashdance Hairspray
Today’s your lucky day because through the magic of blogging, you’re about to listen in on their group therapy session!
Therapist: Hi ladies, how ya been?
Sandy: Who you calling a “Has Been?” Fans are still Hopelessly Devoted to me.
Stephanie: Relax, Miss Sandra Dee. You misheard. She’s just asking how we are. Personally, I’m just barely Staying Alive.
Therapist: Great! Whether you’re a mother or whether you’re a brother… well I’m sure we’ve all had enough of those lyrics. I was going to have us go around the circle and introduce ourselves, but I think it’s rather obvious who everyone is — except for you there with the leg-warmers on. And you are?
Alex: That’s okay. Nobody ever knew what my name was in Flashdance either. When they referred to me, they just said, “She’s a maniac, MANIAC!” Mainly I was known by my iconic sweatshirts. I gave everyone the cold shoulder in the 80’s.
Therapist: You certainly did. Please tell me more about how that feels. But first Baby, could you please scoot your chair back further so I can see everyone. Maybe sit closer to that wall?
Baby: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
Therapist: Hmmm, Paranoia. And Dissociative Behavior talking about yourself in the third person. I see we’ve got our work cut out for ourselves.
Tracy: I’ve actually already worked hard on myself to overcome society’s criticism about being the fat girl. I’m not ashamed of how I look. I’m just grateful I wasn’t born a negro.
Therapist: Excuse me!?? Tracy Turnblad! That last part is completely out of character for you!
Tracy: Sorry, I guess you can take the girl outa Baltimore but you can’t….well the main thing is – I role modeled self-acceptance.
Therapist: And how can any of us really tell when we’ve achieved self-acceptance?
Stephanie: Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, yada yada no time to talk. Music loud and feeling warm, been kicked around since I was born . . .
Therapist: Really? You’re amazingly confident even with that kind of child abuse.
Sandy: Me too. I always liked myself just as I was.
Baby: What are you talking about, girlfriend? You purposely turned yourself into a complete slut, forever teaching impressionable young girls that being a goody-two-shoes sucks, and the only way to be well-liked is to put out!
Sandy: Tell me about it, Stud.
Ariel: Yeah…Let’s hear it for the boy!! Sometimes you gotta cut loose, kick off your Sunday shoes.
Therapist: Please do not remove your footwear here. And I really would like to be the one who leads this discussion.
Stephanie: Wow. Somebody has control issues. And it’s not Tony Manero.
Coco: You know, I just want to belt out one hit song and get some FAME. Okay, I confess…I wanna live forever!
Tracy: Sweetheart, you’re in the wrong room. The Washed-Up Movie Singers Support Group meets down the hall. Sheesh, that Irene Cara is still looking mighty fine.
Therapist: Can we please stay focused? Let’s talk about what dancing did for you ladies. You all have some great moves. What impact did that have on your relationships?
Sandy: Well when I lost the big Rydell high school dance contest, I thought I lost Danny too. After all, he only had eyes for Cha-Cha DiGregorio at that point. But I clung to the hope that “We go together, like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong!”
Therapist: Yes, that makes so much sense.
Sandy: And I’d also remind myself that “We’re one of a kind, like dip da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo!”
Therapist: Very profound indeed.
Tracy: I have a little issue with my femininity. My mother was also a very big woman. But sometimes she was also a big man. She sent me double messages about which gender she identified with.
Therapist: Well, “Big” was the key. And you did the right thing by telling her, “Mama, I’m a big girl now!” without hesitating or missing a beat.
Tracy: Well, you can’t stop the beat!
Stephanie: Beat? Does this mean it’s time to talk about the child abuse now?
Therapist: I’m afraid we’ll have to stop here for this week. But I’d like to go around and hear from everyone what kind of time you’ve had today and please be honest.
Baby: Now I’ve had the time of my life. No I never felt like this before. Yes I swear it’s the truth. And I owe it all to you.
Therapist: Well at least you owe me $150 for this hour! Sandy, what about you?
Sandy: You’re a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you.
Therapist: Lot’s of anger there. Maybe if you didn’t always keep that Elvis and his Pelvis so far away from you.
Tracy: Or maybe if she ratted her hair earlier in the movie. Personally I loved everything about this session. I just wanna let the whole world know I’m still big, blonde and beautiful. And every day should be negro day!
Therapist: Honey, maybe you should just say, “Black lives matter.” As for the rest of you, if you take nothing else away from this meeting, just remember this one word….
Sandy: Grease is the word!!!