If you’re looking for another boring article on the 10 Character Traits that All Successful Bloggers Possess, you’ve come to the wrong place. Isn’t it obvious you need to be “Tenacious” and “Communicative” and “Original” and blah blah blah to be a popular blogger? It’s far more intriguing to see what your own negative character traits will do to your blog, isn’t it? See that? One of my bad character traits is “Pessimistic.” You didn’t think a “Positive Thinker” would be writing an article like this one, did you? If so, you’re “Gullible” and “Naive” and will find a discussion of yourself below!
How Your Personality Flaws Affect Blogging
- IMPATIENT — You cannot delay your gratification even long enough to click “Preview Post” before you hit “Publish.” And proofreading? Ha! Why, if you’re readers wanted good grammar and punctuation, they’d be following an Old English School Marm who would know that Schoolmarm is all one word and the third word in this sentence should not have an apostophre and apostrophe is mispelled and so is “misspelled” for that matter . . . and who has time for this nonsense?!
- WORRIER — Will the blogosphere like your topic? You better Google it to make sure it hasn’t been done before. But being anxious isn’t just self-focused. You’re quite concerned about others too. For instance, someone who follows you and used to comment often (leaving you high praise!) hasn’t been on your blog in over a week. Oh dear! Are they okay? Should you check on them? Or will that make it look like you have a big ego? What if something happened in real life and you never hear from them again? Ever. You will never know why. Why didn’t you insist that all commenters leave their next of kin contact information?
- SNOOPY — If you’re a busybody type than you cannot resist asking your readers to comment on your blog using a prying, intrusive type of request. Example: At the end of this post, please comment if there are any personality flaws that you yourself deal with which I might have inadvertently left out. So transparent. You may as well just change your blog name to “Notes from Nosy!”
- IMPULSIVE — Yeah, I’ll betcha you’d like to turn this character flaw into a positive, fun-sounding one like impromptu or spontaneous, wouldn’t you? But face it, you’re a loose cannon and the whole reason you’re even a blogger in the first place is because one day a thought flitted through your mind along these lines — “Gee I need a new hobby and coin-collecting turns my fingers black.” Voila! Permanent commitment — You made your WordPress blog, now you must write in it!
- ACCUSATORY — Your writing style tends to sound very much like mine does above for “Impulsive.” Sorry about that. Oh and you may apologize a lot.
- **SUPERSTITIOUS — Nobody will ever find a photo of a black cat or a cracked mirror on your blog. Even if the subject is “Halloween” and “Breaking away from vanity.” And if you’re a humor writer, you’ll never put 13 jokes in a post. This is non-negotiable. And sometimes just for good luckle, you need one to be a rhyming chuckle.
- PREDICTABLE — Ho hum. Let’s say you think you write humor (like me!) which means your blog should be full of little shocking statements and catch-you-off-guard surprises that elicit laughter. But instead you’ll overuse cliches and puns throughout your writing or worse yet, the puns are actually about blogging itself because the room you blog in has an open window and you’re too cold to start another “draft.” Or if you’re too sleepy to blog, you can just download a nap for that. But you can’t help if your posts are predictable — it’s not your fault you have that “type” of keyboard. And then of course (yawn) you put, “ba dum tsssss” immediately after the pun. And then you tell readers to click HERE as well.
- FLIRTATIOUS — Blogging to you is just like putting your profile up on a dating website. After all, you never know what kind of attractive single, available reader could be lurking out there! You’ll bat your i’s a lot and give that “come hither” opening hook. Your conclusion always has an amazing climax, and you’re not beyond playing “hard to get” by writing things that nobody understands. Just remember to always use protection….install a spam filter. 😉
- PERFECTIONISTIC — Before you leave a comment on someone else’s blog, you absolutely MUST peruse what every other reader has already said, (even if that means scrutinizing 182 comments) otherwise you risk duplicating their remarks, or you could sound terribly boring in comparison to their witty messages.
- ANGRY — Unless you are Ben from Ben’s Bitter Blog, (and you really should be, cuz he’s hilarious!) your unpleasant attitude will alienate followers who are reading blogs to escape their real life sarcastic, toxic spouses. You may only endear someone with the following personality flaw, because they won’t have to put themselves down any longer — you’ll gladly do it for them. (See below)
- SELF-DEPRECATING — Making yourself the butt of the joke may be funny at first — but after a while, it’s just a super irritating tone to write with, okay? So the next time you want to insult yourself AND be accurate about it, just refer to yourself as “Annoying” AND #7.
- THEATRICAL — If you have a flair for the dramatic, your blog will either be perceived as entirely fictional, (even if every bit of it is 100% true) OR you embellish and exaggerate things to make a point so often that readers leave you comments saying, “I’m very sorry for your loss,” when you wrote, “I just found my teen daughter motionless on her bed because she couldn’t handle doing the dishes anymore. I guess she threw in the towel.”
- GULLIBLE/NAIVE — You’ve incorporated all the recommended personality traits listed right HERE to become a successful blogger and now it’s just a matter of time until your stats soar and you’ve gone viral. Hooray!
- SUSPICIOUS — You’re sure that if you post your best writing, it will be plagiarized and therefore you have copyright symbols on every page. You put your post titles into search engines to see if they come up anywhere else. But this paranoid type of behavior isn’t solely limited to your own stuff. You think any blogger who calls himself, “In My Cluttered Attic” is just one strike of a match away from an arsonist blaze. And that SpeakingWins is not just writing innocently about his treasured garden, or his love of teaching young children the alphabet, but instead he’s diabolically combining both his interest in kids and crops to commandeer your blog for harvesting fairytales about fruit and veggies, like The Princess and the Pea and Cinderella and a Pumpkin. And finally, that BensBitterBlog will surely be spiteful when he sees you linked to his blog under the “Angry” personality trait (above #10) so you better prepare for his vindictive retribution!
** Since these are all the author’s own personality flaws, she wanted to stop with just 13 traits, but because she’s also #6, there was no way she could do that . . . without breaking her mother’s back.
Also, prepare to get vindicted! I am so angry right now…or whatever.
I’m really trying to avoid being angry because no one will ever follow me. Oops, never mind. Uh, maybe I will start a Ben’s Bitter Blog instead. I should have 900 some posts by tomorrow.
THAT’S what I’ve been missing all these years – a little bit of good luckle!
I thought this whole blog was going to be on self-deprecation! By the way, I wonder how superstitious got past the 13th blog…
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I love that sentence about the daughter throwing in the towel! Now, now. Don’t be paranoid. Of course, I love the entire post too.
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Do I get an A+ if I tell you that I have had all of these personality flaws? Plus a few other ones nobody has ever heard of?
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