Do Not Pass Go!
Invisible enemy? Nah. Think of me as a worthy opponent in a daring game.
But remember that if (when?) you lose, you’ll only have yourself to blame.
Play me in ‘Chess’ — I’m always just a few moves ahead.
“Checkmate!” Look again. Perhaps your Queen is dead?
Or accept my challenge for the WhoDunnit board game called ‘Clue.’
I Killed Miss Scarlet, the Ventilator’s the weapon, the location? ICU.
Or let’s pretend stating fun facts in ‘Trivial Pursuit’ is more your style?
Silly questions about TP and pursuing it in the empty paper products aisle.
Wait! ‘Monopoly’ you say? Now there’s a game where you’re sure to excel.
Yet I own Boardwalk and Park Place, and landing on New York will be hell.
But no worries, I always distribute plenty of ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards,
After all, we can’t have all those pedophiles infecting your prison guards.
Switching to ‘Sorry’ or ‘Trouble?’ I land on you, sending you to home base.
New rule! Lose your turn indefinitely—we’ll just call it ‘Sheltering in Place.’
We can even combine two kiddie games, ‘Guess Who?’ and ‘Connect Four.’
But you can bet the mystery person is asymptomatic and someone you adore.
Brave enough for the classic war game ‘Battleship’ after the hand you’re dealt?
First you might wanna assist your navy’s own aircraft carrier, The Roosevelt.
Give ‘Pictionary’ a try, you can sketch a pretty model or draw a clever chart.
I’m the shrewd virus your educated scientists will ultimately need to outsmart.
Assuming their data can break my code and ‘Mastermind’ new vaccines?
Or just prescribe Clorox … Cuz that’s what being a true Quack means.
Make no mistake, I can ‘Scrabble’ your body and ‘Boggle’ your brain,
So feel free to exclaim, “Yahtzee!” in-between all your grief and pain.
But my absolute favorite is a good old fashioned round of ‘Hide n’ Seek.’
Stay safely inside your house to protect the elderly, sick, and weak.
Until I strategically shout “Olly Olly Oxen Free! C’mon out wherever you are!”
And your politicians encourage you to comply, which honestly is so bizarre.
Then just like Child’s Play, our game will be over before it’s ever really begun,
Clearly the winner is me…COVID-19! I’m the last one standing and having fun!