Okay, okay I plead guilty to Baby Book Slacking!  But it was self-defense. Should we put mothers on trial for omitting crucial information from subsequent children’s baby books?  Wouldn’t the father be an accomplice?

So I got a little lazy?  Besides, who really ever reads these books anyhow? It’s not like they’re headed straight for the New York Times Best Yeller Seller list, are they?  Number six child is lucky she got any kind of handwritten documentation out of me at all.  She could’ve just had a copy of the below dog-eared book shoved in a keepsake box (or an empty Lucky Charms cereal carton) along with some loose teeth and a lock of hair. And it could’ve been the dog’s teeth and hair. Give me some credit!But just for the sheer fun of shaming me, let’s take a quick looksy at the differences, shall we?  Of course, the First page of all Baby Memory Books always starts off with the classic Family Tree. Important stuff!

PAGE FROM FIRST CHILD’s BOOK!

Above is a beautiful specimen, sure to be treasured through the years.  But nothing beats the creativity of the sixth child’s Family Tree below.

As I further compare and contrast books — all information from First Child’s Baby Memory Book will be in Blue Font.  Whereas Sixth Child’s info (what little there is) will be in Pink Font. 

BABY’S NAME:  Benjamin       

SIGNIFICANCE OF NAME:  Your Dad and I bonded over watching actor, Benjamin Bratt in the television series, “Law & Order.”  On our honeymoon, we kissed in front of the Big Ben clock in London!

BABY’S NAME:  Lacey      

SIGNIFICANCE OF NAME:  I wanted to remember my favorite vintage blouse which got ruined when morning sickness made me vomit all over the Chantilly applique collar and sleeves. Tsk, Tsk!

HOW LABOR BEGAN:  – We were shopping for nursery furniture when I felt a mild twinge so we rushed to the hospital. The labor and delivery nurses thought we were so cute and sent us back home three different times until the pains came closer together.

HOW LABOR BEGAN:  At Disneyland, my water broke on Splash Mountain. Nobody would believe me. Your siblings insisted we stay for the Electrical Light Parade. Sitting curbside while writhing in pain, I was suddenly seized by a huge contraction which made me kick an extension cord out of an outlet. The entire park plunged into darkness.

THESE WONDERFUL INDIVIDUALS WERE PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTH: Nana, Papa, Aunt Carol, Uncle Gary, Great Grandma Ethel, my wonderful obstetrician Dr. Pransky and of course, your Daddy!

THESE WONDERFUL INDIVIDUALS WERE PRESENT FOR YOUR BIRTH:  Pluto and a Dwarf. 

FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL:  A darling lavender poodle who sleeps in a doghouse on your dresser.

FAVORITE STUFFED ANIMAL:   A dust bunny who hangs out under your crib.

Time for Baby’s First Hand & Foot Prints.  Awww…. 

Though not depicted below, 6th Baby does possess a complete set of Hands and Feet!  I thought leaving that to the imagination was a nice touch.

Yes, 6th Baby WAS nicknamed SpongeBob SquareToes for quite some time.

YOUR FIRST SOLID FOOD:  Mashed banana, rice puree and strained spinach

YOUR FIRST SOLID FOOD:  A piece of What’s His Name’s  bean, rice, cheese and guacamole burrito, french fries, a diet coke. 

FIRST WORDS:  Mama, Dada, light, doggy, ball, cookie, more!

FIRST WORDS:  Help! Valium, postpartum depression, Crème Brûlée, Weight Watchers!

YOU BEGAN TO USE YOUR HANDS AT   6 months      THIS IS WHAT YOU DID:  You reached out tentatively for a colorful rattle shaped like a butterfly!

YOU BEGAN TO USE YOUR HANDS AT   2 years       THIS IS WHAT YOU DID:  You shoved a pen and this Baby Memory Book into my arms and looked expectantly into my eyes. 

Story time together is such a delight. Here are your favorite books and now they’re mine, too!

 Pat the Bunny         Green Eggs & Ham       Where The Wild Things Are!      If You Give A Mouse A Cookie!              

I’m so sick of these stupid books, I’ve taken creative license with the titles. Also, you’re getting more astute and have started wondering why every book consists of only two pages and then we chant triumphantly “The End!” Here’s your faves:

Splat The Bunny        Green Eggs & Scram        Where the Reviled Things Are!         If You think Your Mom is kooky!              

FIRST LULLABYE:  Rockabye Baby, I sing it to you in the rocking chair

FIRST ALIBI:  I couldn’t have sung to you because I became tone deaf. Plus we used the rocking chair for kindling wood during a family camp out.

FIRST OUTING:  We went to the park and you experienced your very first swing.             

FIRST SHOUTING:  You got to listen to your dad and I argue (over emptying the dishwasher) and experienced my first mood swing.               

And the Last Page always ends with such independence!

FIRST WALK:   You took three steps and we all applauded for you!   FIRST WAVED:  You’re off to preschool already – – turned and waved to me “Bye-bye!”  Good job! Where did all the time go??          

There were some “small time gaps” in Sixth Child’s book, but I DID finish the last page:

FIRST JOCK:  You’re a cheerleader now dating the high school quarterback!  FIRST SHAVED:  Your legs look smooth and silky. You’re off to college already?  “Bye-bye!”  Good job! Where did all the time go??