Fifty Shades of Dismay


Blogger Renee, in gold lamé  beret (Passé!)

Ate soufflé at buffet (Gourmet!)

Played croquet with fiancé, at Chalet (Feng Shui!)

Drank  blasé  Grand Marnier,  (cliché!)

Read “Eat, Love, Pray” in risqué negligee (where’s fiancé?)

Toilet began to spray – – called housekeeping to convey (naiveté!)

“She Showered in the Bidet!”          (Oy Vey!)


84 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Dismay

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    • What an incredibly sweet thing to say. That just made my entire week! And I’ve been exploring your blog as well and can see what an avid reader you are (so I’m especially honored.) Great book reviews you’ve got going on there!!
      take care,


  18. Dear Ms. Lewis,

    Another great post! It’s classic, and I don’t know how you do it! You are so good with words, and that is one of the reasons I never enjoyed playing Scrabble or Words With Friends with you! 😉

    Mr. Lewis


  19. This will be the last time I drink coffee when reading your blog!
    Haha! I’d just taken a big gulp, then laughed so hard at the last two lines, I nearly sprayed the stuff from mouth (and nose, like little kids do with milk… it’s ALWAYS milk) all over the computer screen.
    Still laughing over here!


    • You are really adorable. Thank you! I was going to suggest switching from coffee to water (less staining) but with how long it took me to come up with my next post, I think you’ve nothing to worry about. I’m losing my funny – – help!


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    • So sweet, Jessica. Thanks for thinking of me. I read the details and while it’s a fascinating concept, I was hoping submissions could be in a written format since they ARE looking for writers. But nope! They seem to want writers who are also videographers. Oh well. Should brush up on my film-making skills anyway- – maybe take my cell phone in the shower and record myself screaming ala Janet Leigh in Psycho. 😉 Thanks again and hope you’re feeling much better.


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  25. E.L. James has nothing on your Fifty Shades! Witty, humorous, and everything else I’d expect from you. Though, I had no idea you were such a femme sophistiquée! <-I do hope that makes sense – I've never taken French, so if I somehow called you a fancy lion, blame google translate. Really though, very well done. I can tell you put a lot of thought into this masterpiece!


    • Witty! Humorous! French! Femme Sophistiquee! Such compliments over a toilet poem! I’m flushing with pride. Okay, I really should delete that but I’m leaving it up so people can see just how sophisticated i am. Seriously, thank you Adelie. Truth be known, I did not like this piece at all, so I’m just glad it didn’t completely “tank.” Oh, there I go again….. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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  27. Reasons why the minions operating my brain are terrible people:
    I was paying so much attention to how clever this was that my funny bone needed a break from thinking, and the word “toilet” took me back to the “Her” parody puns from a while ago.
    I’m done thinking today.


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  30. Utterly BRILLIANT! So original and funny. Well chosen words too, conjure up luxury and decadence in the imagination! When is the full length novel of this coming I wonder… Advanced orders!?!!! Love it xx


  31. It really is shocking
    How she keeps on rocking
    And churning up post after post.
    Her own special humor
    The wonders, the rumors
    They always elicit a laugh.
    And even when down
    Her brow creased in frown
    You still feel the goodness beneath.
    So keep on rocking, Little Miss Menopause!

    Liked by 4 people

  32. She’s up till late or is it early
    Lack of sleep can make her dreary
    She pounds at her keyboard while weary
    Spare us the dramatics, my dearie
    You do make us laugh till we are clearly
    In such stitches and crying for mercy
    Laughing loud till we are teary.

    Liked by 4 people

    • FIFTY EXACTLY! You Wendy, are something else! I cannot believe you left me this amazing comment! Thank you so much and you have my late nights pegged, precisely! Fifty nights in a row of insomnia! Come back soon!


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