If you want to get published, it takes lots of discipline to send your submission to fifty places. You may even go gray. Ironically, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is also all about submission and discipline. But you’ll be surprised to find there’s even more overlap.
- Christian Grey knows about ropes and is into Bondage. An editor knows the ropes and is into Beverage. (Red wine or coffee!)
- An editor will scrutinize a submission. Christian Grey has “screwin’ eyes” for a submissive.
- Christian Grey’s hands are full of kink. A publisher’s hands are full of ink.
- Christian Grey will not tolerate Ana rolling her eyes about their contact. Editors will not tolerate you not dotting all your i’s in your contract.
- Christian Grey has masochistic tendencies. An editor has manuscriptic tendencies.
- Publishers want to own someone’s copyright. Christian Grey wants to own someone outright.
- Editors like to bold text the exciting snippets. Christian Grey likes bold sex and exciting whip-its.
- Your editor likes literary fiction. Cristian Grey likes friction, literally.
- Submitting means you want to be punished. Submitting means you want to be published.
- Most editors won’t accept you writing off-the-cuff. Cristian Gray won’t accept you, except writhing in handcuffs.
- In Fifty Shades of Gray, a safe word will end the pleading. In publishing, it’s safe to say the words “The End” end the reading.
- Editors want a clean version. Mr. Grey is keen on perversion.
- Editors will ask how long you’ve been blogging? Mr. Grey will ask how long you want a flogging?
- Mr. Grey wants Ana to sign a contract for consent in being erotic. An editor wants your contact info with your content if she’s being neurotic!
- It makes Mr. Gray hard to have you bound, with a nice gag. Publishers will give you a hardbound with a price tag.
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