15 Ways Getting Published & “Fifty Shades of Grey” are Similar!

photo (10)If you want to get published, it takes lots of passion and discipline to send your submission to fifty places. The stress may make you gray. Ironically, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is also all about passion, stress, discipline and submission. But you’ll be surprised to find there’s even more overlap! (Not including Christian Grey bending Ana over-his-lap)


  1. Christian Grey knows about ropes and is into Bondage. An editor knows the ropes and is into Beverage. (Red wine or coffee!)
  2. An editor has to scrutinize a submission. Christian Grey has “screwin’ eyes” for a submissive.
  3. Christian Grey’s hands are full of kink. A publisher’s hands are full of ink.
  4. Christian Grey will not tolerate Ana rolling her eyes during their contact. Editors will not tolerate you not dotting all your i’s in your contract.
  5. Christian Grey has masochistic tendencies. An editor has manuscriptic tendencies.
  6. Publishers want to own someone’s copyright. Christian Grey wants to own someone outright.
  7. Editors like to bold text the exciting snippets. Christian Grey likes bold sex and exciting whip-its.
  8. Your editor likes literary fiction, but will turn on you for using the passive voice. Cristian Grey likes friction, literally. And will get turned-on by a passive voice.
  9. Submitting means you want to be published. SUBmitting means you want to be punished.
  10. Most editors won’t like you writing off-the-cuff. Cristian Gray won’t like you, except writhing in handcuffs.
  11. In Fifty Shades of Gray, a safe word will end the pleading. In publishing, it’s safe to say the words “The End” end the reading.
  12. Editors want you to draft many versions. Mr. Grey wants you to drift into many perversions.
  13. Editors will ask how long you’ve been blogging? Mr. Grey will ask how long you want a flogging?
  14. Mr. Grey demands Ana sign a contract to consent to being erotic. An editor demands contact info with your content if she’s being neurotic!
  15. It makes Mr. Grey hard if Ana’s bound, with a nice gag.  Publishers will make a hardbound with a price tag.