You may reread that headline and decide it’s probably a typo. Or you may think having a NON-jealous mate is actually a good thing! And that may be true except … when it’s not.
Bear with me as I relate the following conversation:
Me: So I had lunch today with my publisher, Jamie.
Him: Nice. Whadya order?
Me: Salad. You know . . . Jamie IS a unisex name. Aren’t you suspicious that my publisher is a guy? And feeling a bit concerned that I had lunch alone with a male?
Me: Well he is. And he’s actually VERY male.
Him: That’s nice. Glad to know my gender values books.
Now stop right there. I know, I know. This illustrates he’s perfectly secure within himself. Also it shows he has a ton of faith and confidence in me and our relationship, trusting I’m not going anywhere.
But what does this say about his perception of my potential value and attractiveness? He doesn’t bat an eye that someone else might find me worthy of coveting!
Metaphor Time: Every Friday I drag my overflowing trashcans out to the curb. I never worry someone will come by and flirt with my garbage when I’m not around, or try to take it for their own pleasure. And it’s not because I have a trusting relationship with my rubbish . . . well the recyclables maybe. But now consider this – – parked in my driveway is a shiny, new red Mazda. And you better believe I installed an alarm system on that baby!
Aha! What does this tell you? That’s why I just had to find out more. So I told my best friend to call our home phone several times a day and hang up when he answered.
Him: Darn telemarketers.
Seriously?? So I bought myself some beautiful flowers.
Him: That’s so nice that your older kids would send you an early mother’s day bouquet.
Grrrrrr. So I made a big production out of carrying in a mysterious brown wrapped package from the front porch late one night.
Him: Wow. Who’d guess Nordstrom delivers after midnight?
Ugh. So I secretly opened it in my closet, then intentionally left its contents (a lacy negligee with tags still on) out for him to stumble upon.
Him: Ha. Someone actually believes you could wear a size Small.
That does it.
Me: Haven’t you been the least bit concerned over the past few days? And haven’t you seen the amount of friend requests I receive on Facebook from men who look wild with desire?
Him: Yes. I meant to tell you to stop posting those graphic pics of your brisket and brownies.
Me: Sheesh. What will it take for you to feel threatened? To fight over me? To challenge someone to a duel?
Him: (looks around) Is that last question directed at me or did Sir Lancelot just ride into the room?
Me: OMG! Well, would you at least rescue me if I was tied down to the railroad tracks and a speeding train was imminently approaching?
Him: North or Southbound? Sorry. Absolutely. Of course. No question.
Finally! I decided to stop (the hypothetical questions) while I was ahead. He didn’t need to know that (in my mind) the reason I was tied to those tracks was because Jamie, (my VERY manly publisher) had shouted in a fit of jealousy, “If I can’t have you, then nobody can have you!”
I love hearing from you. Tell me if you get jealous or if your mate ever does?