“Be Freshly Pressed!”

(To the Tune of “Be Our Guest!”)

Ball Point Pen (melodically)

Be Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed,
don’t be nervous, it’s not a test,
Just have a catchy title, Cherie
and a hook that’s been finessed.

Scoop du jour! It’s not your nerves,
Wordpress Daily Prompts have tricky curves.
I write the Play stuff, it’s fictitious,
Don’t believe me? You’re suspicious.
I can pun, I have fun, I hit publish when I’m done,
After all, a post can never be too over-spun.
As a blogger, it’s not good to be second best
So go on, use my drop-down menu,
Take a glance, and then you’ll….
Stay abreast
With how I’ve professed
To sleep at my desk, till you’re Freshly Pressed.

Desk Lamp (solo spotlight)

Cliched Clams!
Quotation Quiche!
Dry but Juicy Hacked Hashish!
Shut up! – –  we’re not here to overeat.
Don’t you know we have a quota to meet?

Computer (harmony)

With Other Bloggers, don’t compare,
But Yes, they do have better flair!
Writer’s Block!  Now you’re scared!
It’s just your souls about to be bared.
Everyone’s gloomy and complaining,
‘Cuz all your Readers expect entertaining…
So I write jokes, post good pics,
With my fellow literary chicks.

Keyboard & Mouse (duet)

And it’s all in questionable taste, that you can bet!
Come on and get off your ass,
You’ve won your own free pass, to Be Freshly Pressed.
If you’re stressed….
It’s mass Googling we suggest!

All Equipment (Crescendo Together)

You’ve confessed, You’re possessed,
You’ll even write about your big breasts
Get your worries off your chest.
Let us say for your next post…
try giving a recipe for French Toast.
Try some poems, try a quote,
Now go home and edit what you just wrote!
It’s a chore, but don’t be a wallower…
Don’t believe me? Ask your one Follower.
Singing sentences, dancing words,
Yes your writings for the birds.
How could anyone be gloomy or depressed?
We’ll make you shout encore,
Writing shouldn’t be a chore…
So don’t get obsessed, just make a small request
To be Freshly Pressed. Freshly Pressed!

Mrs. Plots (warbles)

I’m aghast – – feeling harassed,
Sakes alive, you’re plagiarizing fast!
Words are pouring, and it’s not boring
Soon the adoring has your Stats soaring….
With the climax, they’ll want tea,
And my dear, that’s fine with me.
While this parody has some clarity,
there’s no hilarity or sincerity,
So any popularity will just be charity,
But you could throw in some vulgarity!

Yes! Write some porn! Be piping hot!
Heaven’s sakes! Perish that thought!
You little Tart, that’s not called Art!
Clean it up! You could write about your thyroid – – it’s gone hypo.
We’ve got a lot to do, so please avoid another typo!

Do you take one lump or two?
(Meaning the “likes” you get will be few.)
But if you tell all your blog guests
They’re just the best, to be able to digest
All your crap without their protest.
Then along the way, you might (yes, you just may!)

Be Freshly Pressed!  Freshly Pressed!!   Yes, you’ll Be FRESHLY  PRESSED!!!

(And now we turn the record over to play the lesser known “throwaway” song on the other side of the 45)

“Stop Blogging My ART Around”

(To the Tune of “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” by Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks)

 

Blogger, you’ll come flocking onto my website,
Ignoring those banners ’bout my copyright.
I said ya, well
I know just what I’m gonna do…
You post my stuff without permission, just to get another view.

So you’ve had a little trouble with a noun.
Now you’re downloading my images around.
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my Art around.

It’s hard to think about what you’ve done.
When all you think about is Number One.
This is gonna be the big get even…
Cuttin’ n pastin’ is akin to thievin’

I know you really wanna give cartoons a whirl…
But you really shoulda picked a different URL.

Blogger, you could never look me in the eye,
You think the price for Clip Art is much too high….
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin ‘ my
Stop bloggin ‘ my art around!

[Instrumental Interlude while we Bloggers Sweat Bullets]

Crazy Writers runnin’ round loose online…
Ain’t got nothin’ much better to do.
Thinkin’ you’re too unknown for a big ole fine.
Well think again, cuz Baby Blogger, I’m gonna sue!

I know you really want to tell me goodbye,
Penalties are stiff because you should comply.

Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my Art around!!

 

This was my entry for this week’s writing challenge where you are supposed to rewrite a song.  My “normal” Quirky blog to return soon! And special thanks to Bumblepuppies for suggesting that “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” would be a song with some good potential. Visit him HERE.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/to-the-tune-of/