This Text Has Me Vexed And Perplexed!

photo-382A few weeks ago, I let you have a glimpse into the email box of a 50 year old woman – – Me!   It wasn’t pretty.  So I decided that revealing my texts from this past week couldn’t be any worse.  Disclaimer:  I deleted all my complex Sext Texts rejects to this guy, Rex (you should see him flex his Pecs!) so I wouldn’t lose your respects.

Forget Vexing & Perplexing!?  Where is My Sextng?!


1.  We’ll start with my 16 year old – – needs no further explanation.

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2.  My Ex-Husband is still trying to move on.  I once wrote a dating profile for him right here.




 3.  My 21 year-old son 

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4.  In the middle of all this, I had a thoroughly delightful conversation with my younger kid’s teacher.

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5.  And then my own mother. . . she’s 72.  Oh, and we’re Jewish.  Need I say more?

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6.  So of course I had to do the right thing.  Hmmph.

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7.  Naturally my “friend” Tiffany gave me lots of “empathy.”  You can read more about Tiffany HERE.

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8.   And the other 21 year-old son now.  (Yep, twins)

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9.   My own Mother once again texted (obviously recovered enough to get out and about) so I decided “if I can’t beat ’em, then I would join ’em!”

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10.  And I’ll close with another text between my teenage daughter (miraculously not about shopping) – –  I initiated it this time!

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So there you have it – – My Racy Text Life.  And how’s yours these days???



73 thoughts on “This Text Has Me Vexed And Perplexed!

  1. Very good and funny post. I never understood texting until I recently got a smartphone. I was in the grocery and I got a text to get a particular item.
    That’s when I realized i didn’t actually have to speak out loud in public (or private for the matter) to anyone!
    Unfortunately the buttons are too small for me and my eyes don’t always see what I’m texting.
    My typical text looks like “OK I’lm getr som fr dinnor. Do you wnt tona flesh?”
    Anyway, I’m riffing off of your inspired post. You’re good! 🙂


  2. LOL, Stephanie! You and your crazy life..AND imagination! Hahhaha! My favorite has got to be the one from the ex-husband. Gotta love men and the need for closure! ;-))


    • Yes, my ex-husband is still dredging up every old argument and trying to make his points. I keep saying, “It’s a moot point now.” But he wants his trophies. Anyhow, I am so glad you’re visiting me here! I feel like we share a lot of experiences. I keep trying to comment on your blog as WordPress ID but it doesn’t let me so I hope my comments are getting thru? I don’t see them posting.


  3. Pingback: Blogging For Fun & Profit! $1 Per Pun? C’mon . . . Get Off It! | Once Upon Your Prime. . .

  4. I knew better than to be eating pistachios while reading this post. Yup almost choked from laughing and as other readers commented as I was going through each one I’m like “oh this is good” only to read the next one and it’s “oh this is realllly gooood” so I can’t pick a favorite but I can say I am so very thankful my mother doesn’t know how to text lol.


  5. You’ve X-cel-d with this post M/s M! I giggled and laughed so much, I had tears pouring down my face. Re: acronyms – my daughter posted a photo of a butter chicken curry she made, on her facebook timeline and her cousin asked for the recipe. I was stumped when she said: Will PM you.
    Post Meridian? Prime Minister? Peri- Menopausal? Pumpkin Muffin? Post Master? Nothing of the sort! Turns out, it’s ‘private message.’ 


    • Why thank you. I guess I didn’t think of it so much as a display of my actual writing since it’s primarily composed of all images. But I did make all of the words up on the text boxes, so I guess it qualifies as real writing. Thanks again!


      • I guess I wasn’t talking just about the writing but more about the way you had it all there together and the perspective you had in it. Writing was good, don’t get me wrong, but mostly I just really enjoy your outlook!


    • ha – – thanks Holly. In reality, my texts are kinda like, “Come home and do your laundry, young lady!” Followed shortly by, “Well if you bought me enough clothing, I would only need to do laundry once a month like the rest of my friends.” So appreciate you taking the time to read/comment!


  6. Reblogged this on DrShapero's Blog and commented:
    Laughter is good for the soul. Take a moment to blow off some steam. This article should give you a few good laughs. I recommend having a good laugh every day. Oh, and if you like it please leave a comment and consider following her. However, if you follow too close I’ll be watching you. Enjoy the article and go ahead LOL no one is watching. . . well except me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Certainly LMAO. Brilliantly clever and amazingly funny. Now you are a true professional at this. I come from a big family and I TOO have a Jewish mother. So a few of those scenarios hit very close to home. You did great at capturing these every day scratch your head and wonder are these people actually related?? I’m sure many of your readers have had some of those. Unless, well . . . unless they are the source of the absurdity and in that case they probably would not get half the humor. Funny, very funny. Thanks for once again adding some levity to my week.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You make me wish I’d taken a screen shot of a text conversation from 2 months ago with my kids’ favorite babysitter.

    Me: Hi ! It’s Hoot and Wise’s Mom. Can you babysit on May 6th?
    Babysitter: Sorry, I can’t. I’m graduating and have tons of senior week activities that whole week.
    Me: Oh right, I forgot we talked about that. Well, contraception!
    Me: Oiy, ack. Darn swype. I meant CONGRATULATIONS.
    Babysitter: LMAO I can’t breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The teacher text was hilarious – mostly b/c I accidentally reversed who was who by mistake (it was funnier that way for some reason). Haha.

    I hope you were corrected by now on LMAO & WTF…

    I think once, years ago, I accidentally texted my mother some nice compliment meant for my girlfriend at the time. Made the mistake of telling her that it wasn’t meant for her…this post made me wish I had saved that conversation. Lololol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi You! Yeah, having me correct the teacher woulda been funnier. Darn! Why are you always one-upping me with wit??! 😉 Love you coming here, you know that.

      be good now,
      ps. sorry I have been remiss in checking my Reader, lots going on but I will be coming to you very soon!


      • I was gonna say the same to you! June has been…rather insane. I haven’t written nearly as much as I’ve wanted to! Hope to change that a little bit before school kicks back up…!


  10. I’ve just had a text conversation with my 19-year-old about goat sacrifice. I need the assurance of clear road conditions for Saturday to as planned. Goats in Reading, beware!

    Great post, as ever. Each one I thought, ‘ooh, that’s my fave’…until I read the next. You’re too funny. Always a joy to see a new post from you on my reader. You should text me sometime.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Goat sacrifice!! – – goodness gracious – – and I deluded myself to think my texts were intriguing!? Thank you GSM – – and the joy is always mine, when you pop in here to say Hi, or better ye . . . when I get the time luxury to pore over your comedic genius posts!!


  11. Hahaha, the Teacher one is so me with my brother! He hates it when I correct his text grammar! And yeah the texts between my boyfriend and I are definitely not PG 13… 😀 Loved your post!


  12. I have been feeling down … But thanks to your total brilliance I am now starting my day with a huge smile after visiting your fantastic, amazing, wonderful humour. Xx


    • Oh Rose–I hope it’s just a mild case of the blues? Btw, your grand kids are ADORABLE!! I’ve been outa sorts too…. Blogging usually helps but maybe I do have to bite the bullet and go jogging… Ugh! Thank you so much for the nice remarks!


    • Thanks DGLW!! (I’ve always wanted to type that, but I’m always calling you Blogmate instead!) This one did not come naturally to me and I had to coax every last bit out (like scraping brownie batter with a spatula into the pan) and I fear I am definitely losing whatever humor I did possess. Your comments always give me much needed support. Lotsa hugs!


  13. Stephanie – where do you come up with this stuff? Needless to say, I love it! Texting is a pretty funny form of communication where we have none of the normal cues of a conversation – sight, sound, hearing, etc. Great job of goofing on technology! Ya gotta laugh!


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