Has Your Muse Taken a Snooze? (Or Worse, Blown a Fuse??)


photo-362Got writer’s block?  You might want to try what I did….

An Interview with My Muse

Me:  So….what gives?  You’re so quiet in there.  You gotta come up with something new to get me going.  I never have anything nice to post like all the other Bloggers do.

Maisy Musey:  You gotta be kidding me!  You’ve got a closet full of Inspiration.  And…. You just got Freshly Pressed. What more do you want from me?

Me:  That ratty old thing?  That’s been hanging in there since Valentine’s Day.  Besides, it was just a coincidence they picked that one.   You never give me anything new and exciting anymore.

Maisy Musey:  (sighs) Here we go.   And what’s up with my name?  We’ve gotta change it.  I can’t work like this.  It’s depressing.

Me:  Okay, okay – –  I can understand feeling a little out of sorts after WordPress featured us.  The letdown after the spike in stats.  And maybe the intense pressure to come up with something else as a follow-up.  But you can shake these Muse Blues. I know you can!  Here – – Lemme sing you a little song — “a Muse-ical” if you will.  “la-la-la – – The Muse will come out tomorrow….betcha bottom dollar that….”

Minnie Musey:  Shut up.  And stop with all these cutesie names.  I am NOT a-mused.

Me:  Yes, you most certainly ARE a muse.  And you’re my muse.  You’re just a bit mixed-up.  “Musion Confusion” they call it.   Here….try a better, stronger name.

Moses Muse:  Oh, so its Moses now, is it?  What am I- – a Jew’s Muse?   Listen you, I’ve paid my Muse Dues.  You got what you wanted.  I’m on strike now.  That’s right.  You heard me – –   I.  Refuse.  to.  Muse.

Me:  What?!  With my new followers?  What am I supposed to do?

Moses Muse:  Tell them you have some News.  Your Muse took his departure Cues after finally getting some Clues and feeling Used.   He was tired of Cruising for a Musing Bruising.

Me:  I don’t believe this!  All my readers will jump to the wrong Musion Conclusion now. Like I’ve given you a Musion Contusion or something.  Yeah, sure.  Besides,  you just can’t go into Musion Seclusion.  How am I going to keep up with the “I’m really a witty writer” Illusion?  Please!?

Sybil:  Has it ever occurred to you that you don’t even have a Muse? That you just talk to yourself??  You do have a track record you know.photo-363

Me:  You miserable Excuse for a Muse.  You just watch.  I’m gonna Peruse a famous writer’s Muse.  Someone with profound, Profuse Muse Views.   A Muse who won’t Accuse.  Hemingway’s Muse!  Now that’s a great Muse for me to Choose to Reuse!!

Ernie:  (Belches)  Hey man!  I am definitely not the Muse for you.  I’m a Male Muse.  Into minimalism.  Not all that girly chit-chat.  Any of these sound familiar?  1.  Farewell to Arms  2.  The Sun Also Rises   3.  The Old Man and the Sea. (And my strong personal favorite) . . .  4.   For Whom the Bell Tolls?

Me:  Don’t give me that Muse-o,  Macho B.S.  You’re sensitive deep down, I know it.   You could have easily made those titles into 1.  Farewell to Feminine Charms  2.  The Daughter Also Sets (the table)  3.   The Cold Man and His Tea.  (And a terrific wedding planner called…) 4.  “For the Groom Rochelle Controls”

Ernie:  Okay, Miss Smartie Pants Blogger….you don’t need a muse.  Just take all the classics and tweak ’em with your  own little womanly touch.  See how far it gets you.

Me:  You don’t have to ask me twice. Go back to the Booze, Hemingway Muse!

Little Miss Menopause’s Take on Literature Greats

1.  Crime and Punishment – – Grime and Tarnishment  (A Housekeeping Guide)

2.  Sense and Sensibility – – Blintz and Minceability  (A Cookbook)

3,  Wuthering Heights – –  Withering Nights  (A Sex Manual After Age 50)

4.  The Importance of Being Earnest – – The Importance of Being an Internist – –  (How To convince your kids to become a doctor)

5.  The Catcher in the Rye – – Scratch Her in the Eye  (What to do when you find the woman your husband cheated with)

6.  Red Badge of Courage – – Shred Bag to Discourage  (A Shopaholics Recovery Bible)

7.   Great Expectations – –   Weight Fluctuations   (It’s normal to put on a few pounds throughout the monthly cycle)

8.  War and Peace – – Drawer of Fleece  (Sweats ARE okay on weekends)

9.  Scarlett Letter – – Car-Knit Sweater (Driving Hobbies while your hubby takes the wheel)

10.  Call of the Wild – – Bawl of the Child  (Beyond Time-Out Punishments for your Little One)

Okay, alright. Those are awful.   I admit it.  I need my old Muse back.  Nobody should Lose their Muse.  I promise to be kind, grateful and most of all to think of a dignified name.  That’s right  – – I, Little Miss Menopause, do solemnly swear to attend a support group to stop “Muse Abuse.”  The meetings are held in the local Museum, of course.

And how do you treat your writer’s Muse when it goes Mute??

 

62 thoughts on “Has Your Muse Taken a Snooze? (Or Worse, Blown a Fuse??)”

  1. I’m always in awe at the conversations that rumble around your head! You never cease to amuse me. Very clever take on the titles- my favorite being Scratch Her in the Eye and Weight Fluctuations<-Which is more like my biography at the moment.
    Anyway, I send my super duper congratulations to you for the well-deserved recognition and publicity!!!! I believe a month or so ago, there was mention of me being your first Freshly Pressed house guest and a large bottle of champagne. Well, I kind of missed the boat on being the first to congratulate you, and for that I'm sincerely sorry. However, I see no reason why we can't still do the champagne! 🙂
    I harassed my muse into helping me express my admiration for you and your success. It's nowhere near your caliber in witty wordiness, but hey, I gave it a shot:
    Adventures of Huckleberry Finn——- FreshlyPressed learns of Stephanie's Winn (A saga of a magnificently talented writer finally receiving the glory she deserves.)

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  5. Hi Stephanie, boy have I missed your posts. I’ve been offline for almost a month now (settling in my new place) and it’ll probably take me a month just to catch up. Good to know that you’re still having in-depth, delightful, discussions with your alter ego. Oh, and thank you for your take on the Literary Greats…I particularly like “Weight Fluctuations” as this whole, closing, moving, organizing, reorganizing business has totally dismantled my carefully plotted healthy lifestyle and now I’ve got to get back to business. Be sure of this though, I will be checking back. ~Steph

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    • Wow! I have missed my namesake who spells it so creatively. And your workout guidance. I really hope the move has treated you kindly. Thank you so much for paying me a visit during what I’m sure are hectic times!
      See you soon, I hope!
      Steph

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      • And I’ve missed the laughs from your blog. I was telling my cousin about how funny you are and I promised to point her in your direction.

        The move has definitely NOT treated me kindly but I ‘spose it’s mainly because I want everything YESTERDAY. I so wish I could feel normal . I’ve also missed my workout guidance as the KFC slip a few weeks back has taken me to a very dark place that I fear I cannot bounce back from but I’m determined to prevail.

        I’m actually working on today’s post as I’m responding to your message. Got so much catching up to do and I can’t wait to see what everyone has been up to of late.

        I’ll be sure to circle back very soon. Have a great day!! ~Steph

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  6. You are seriously my favorite blogger at the moment. My sister @beingjanekw and I went to a bloggers conference this weekend and my poor sister had to listen to me refer to your blog probably a million times.

    Keep posting. You come across like you have the most awesome personality, which I’m sure it is equally as spectacular in person! I ❤️ it!!

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    • You are such a sweetheart! I honestly do not think anyone has ever told me I’ve come up in conversation in real life before. How was the blogger’s conference….was it BlogHer food in Florida?? Thank you for being a really enthusiastic commenter – – it’s so nice to feel like someone “gets” you the way you intend!
      take care,
      Stephanie

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      • Well, more people should tell you that you come up in conversation, because I am sure you do. 🙂

        I actually went to a small conference in Newport Beach called Elevate. It was my first conference and probably a good way to start. I will probably start going to more. Being a new blogger, or maybe I should say newly deciding that I want to do more consistent and intentional blogging, there was a lot of good information for me.

        I often wonder if “strangers” hear my tone of voice in my writing, so yes I am glad that I could let you know that you do a fabulous job of getting your tone across!

        Thank you for responding!

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  8. hahaha this post is pure gold !!!! I love it… 🙂

    5. The Catcher in the Rye – – Scratch Her in the Eye (What to do when you find the woman your husband cheated with)

    7. Great Expectations – – Weight Fluctuations (It’s normal to put on a few pounds throughout the monthly cycle)

    these two still have me laughing !!

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  9. OMG! I am a wee bit freaked out. Reading your blog, follower comments and just “stumbling” across your blog, is like looking at my holographic self. Freaky! I just mused around this month with my monthly muse, Calliope, muse of music and poetry. And I wrote about my Seuss amuseness recently by posting “Are You My Mother” pics on Mother’s Day. And I am reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lemott. And………………..I think I am gonna love following your blog.
    Blessings!

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    • Aw, blessings back to you! How ironic. We must post under the same blogging sign, eh? One day I’m going to do Horoscopes for bloggers. I am very appreciate that you even took the time to read, let alone leave such a detailed comment. Must check out your blog asap now. Are you my mother? Fave book to read my kids!! Thank you for becoming a follower….
      take care,
      Stephanie

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  13. Congratulations on the FP. 🙂 🙂 And I can definitely relate to the post-stress afterwards. And as usual, you’ve come up with something original, witty, and true. xo

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  14. OK, not sure if I still “got it” but I LOL’d and woke up the cat when I saw “Sybil”

    Sweetie, congrats on your Freshly Pressed-ness! Three cheers, and all that!

    As for the MIA Muse… maybe he/she/it just needs a bit of down time to recharge. Besides, you’ve been otherwise preoccupied with stuff like, oh, I dunno… infernos bearing down on your home?

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    • You’ve always had “it” and always will! It seriously was Sybil. But I thought either not many would “get it” or some might be offended and then I thought “oh but then there’s Maggie” and immediately felt everything would be alright. And here you are citing the exact word. Magical, Mystical Maggie… How doooooo you do “it?”

      You’re the only WPer I told about the state of emergency in my neighborhood so anyone reading, I am trying to catch up to YOUR blog soon…. Keep having to blow the ashes of my computer screen. Never seen anything like this.. EVER! They tried to burn down San Diego, I think. 10 Separate fires and 9 of them arson suspected. Thanks for support, Maggie Mae…. Email and here. xo

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  15. Funny and aMUSEing as usual. . . I suggest Whose Muse, which Dr. Seuss suggested, he’s a friend of mine you know. . . Although after a long day a Snooze Muse can be very refreshing, especially after item 10 which we both know is wearing. . .May your Muse be ever funny and inspiring, all nine of them.

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  16. Found you through a link from another site. Great work! Gotta send (plead with her to go) and read your blog. Love it.

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  18. I had to come back and tell you about a life-changing book I just read called “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott. She talks about writer’s block with this advice: “It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what’s keeping things running right. We’re bugs struggling in the river, brightly visible to the trout below. With that fact in mind, people like me make up all these rules to five us the illusion that we are in charge….they’re not needed, hon. Just take in the buggy pleasures. Be kind to the others, grab the fleck of riverweed, notice how beautifully your bug legs scull.” Keep on sculling, Stephanie. The rest of us riverbugs enjoy your company. And watch out for the trout.

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    • Man….those trout! And I’d rather lose my keys, my sex drive and my sense of humor than lose my control. Oh right….it’s just an illusion. Well, so is my sex drive! 😉 Thanks for coming back with that comment! Gonna check out book!
      Steph

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  25. ha – – very clever, you! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Long deserved. How did they find such an oldie but goodie as that one?

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