When Did I Ever Tell Disney Studios to “Be My Guest??” (I’m suing Walt!)


photo-422Wait till you see what’s been stolen from me to make scores of Disney hit movies!  Have you heard about author Isabella Tanikumi, who is taking Disney Studios to court for allegedly ripping off her books, which were based on her real life story, to make the movie Frozen?  If she doesn’t ‘let it go,’ she stands to make a lot of money.  But I’m sure the judge will agree that I am the larger injured party here. After my lawsuit(s) it’s only a matter of time before I’m singing “When You Wish Upon a Star,” bathing in my own millions!

SLEEPING BEAUTY:  It’s shocking how much Disney plagiarized my childhood events for this animated feature — Where do I even start?   At the beginning, of course.  First of all, just like Maleficent, I was shunned from my own Baby Christening. (Religious differences were cited.) Along those same lines, identical to Aurora, I was also born Royalty (according to my father) — a Jewish American Princess.  Then ironically, at age 16, in the middle of sewing my own gym bag in Home Economics class, (we should still make this mandatory, btw) I was also poked by a needle.  Now mind you, there are no witnesses. I couldn’t very well shout out, “Who just saw me Prick myself?” because I would have been sent to the principal for profane language.  But from that day forward, my mother could never awaken me to get to school on time.

CINDERELLA:  There can be no doubt of copycatting here.   But how Walt managed to spy on me in shoe stores, I’ll never know! It was my sheer amount of shoving, jamming and forcing my pregnant, swollen feet inside that last pair of silver stilettos in a Size 6 narrow, (during Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale) that was obviously duplicated for his stepsister’s dramatic scenes.  The fact that I was only raised with a brother or that I’m deathly phobic of mice need never come up in the lawsuit.  And perhaps I haven’t cleaned out our fireplace lately, but I can attest to scrubbing many a bathroom fixture. Nicknaming me “SToilet” instead of Stephanie would not be too far-fetched.

WRECK-IT RALPH:  Here I can only go after Disney for taking the title of this recent film directly from tapping my phone.  Ralph is the name of my Allstate auto insurance rep.  Three times during the same year this movie was made, I had to call and report a claim with my Mazda, lowering my voice to a shameful whisper the third time when I confessed, “I Wrecked it, Ralph.”

FINDING NEMO:  I might be persuaded to drop these allegations since it’s a bit of a leap.  However I want it on record that I’ve always lost my notes (for my blogs) and other scraps of papers I scrawled groceries on to buy at the market.  Therefore, I thought up a clever name for a contraption I invented that locates your “To Do” list around the house with an annoying buzzing sound. “Finding Memo!”

PARENT TRAP:  Alright, here my case is completely airtight.  I have twin boys and my one scaredy cat son once bribed his courageous lookalike brother to go to the pediatrician to get an extra flu shot for him.  When his Dad and I discovered the switcheroo, we didn’t reconcile our marriage, but we did have an hour long phone conversation where we both (miraculously!) agreed that the boys should lose dessert for a week and get different haircuts.

TANGLED:  Just look at this picture of my hair.

The original TANGLED, 80's style.

The original TANGLED, 80’s style.

Can there be any argument what the movie is based on??  Plus when I tell a white lie, my mother always recites, “Oh what a Tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”  Thanks Ma, I’ll split the settlement with you on this one.

FREAKY FRIDAY:  Disney must have a thing with the “Swapping People” bit (see Parent Trap above) but I definitely explored this theme first.  Witness the following multiple dialogues between me and my daughter.

Daughter: You can’t keep saying, “Cuz I said so!”

Me: Yes, I can.  And when you’re the mother, you can say it too.

or

Daughter: All the other mothers are letting their daughters go to the dance.

Me:  I’m not all the other mothers.

Daughter:  Well I wish you were!

or

Daughter:  It’s so unfair!  You have no clue what life as a teenager is like nowadays. It’s not like when you were in school and your biggest stress was pricking your finger with a needle in Home Ec class!

Me:  Try shoe shopping with big feet, scrubbing toilets, taking your twin brothers to the pediatrician for vaccinations, talking with car insurance companies, never being able to find my memos for my blogs, having a hairdo so tangled that it resembles a rat’s nest, and dealing with a smart-mouthed teen like you, Young Lady!

“Ya got that, Walt?  Freaky Friday was born when my sassy daughter was!”

And tonight if I see any Disney producers or writers loitering around my dinner table, it’s . . .

“OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

photo-40

I’ll see you in Court, Mickey!

Meanwhile, please see my latest laughter featured on Huffington Post about men I would NEVER date.

 

 

 

36 thoughts on “When Did I Ever Tell Disney Studios to “Be My Guest??” (I’m suing Walt!)”

  2. Based on a number of the comments here you could probably start a class action.

    I can totally see the Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale and the shoe bit, I mean it’s shoes we’re talking about. All in all I think you have some compelling evidence here.

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  4. And out of body experiences!! I grew up (but have I really grown up? I mean really? lol) with Disney movies and books and trips to the theme parks, but the thing that caught my interest with Disney more recently is the darker versions of the classic stories or maybe they are the original versions? Either way Disney has a very dark side!

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  5. If this matter were to ever go to a civil jury and I was a sitting member, you would definitely have my vote! – is that what it’s called when the jury votes. Although I think Sleeping Beauty is based on my life story… would we have to argue over life rights?

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  7. I’ll see if I can file my petition before you get yours to court for the Cinderella shoe story. My foot is size 13. When I cared about wearing women’s shoes, the largest size that most stores carried was size 9.

    I’ll file a petition for Aladdin, too. When I wish for my humor genie, you show up like Robin Williams!

    We’re still having a blast watching Frozen. (We don’t have any teens tormenting us with the tunes.)

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  8. Pingback: Featured Friday — Once Upon Your Prime. . . | Nonsense & Shenanigans

  11. You may just have a case. The argument you may come up against is the fact that these were written before you were born. However, that won’t be an issue in the enchanted forest. I honestly thought you were going to claim Shrek. What happens to the princess with morning sickness or labor pains. Finding “Memo” is completely believable. Perhaps you could help me write a good argument for Pinocchio? With a little bit of pixie dust its a sure win for both of us.

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  12. Oh my goodness! Some horrifying yet completely valid examples there! I’d say you have a very strong case! (And when I say horrifying, I’m really not referring to that picture of you Stephanie!) Sorry, had to get that in! The picture was actually hilarious and you’re brave to have posted it.. And besides, I should talk right?

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  14. I am outraged on your behalf, truly outraged! And…I’m 100% willing to testify on your behalf in exchange for free passes to Disney World (a place I can otherwise not afford without selling several pints of my blood).

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  15. LOL Wow you are inspiring the lawsuits. I’m not sure I might have one too.
    I do know as a toddler I was referred to as “Old Yeller”.
    In grade school I seemed to have taken on the nickname of “Flubber”.
    As a young adult my bank referred to my account as “The Black Hole.”
    I guess my attempt to spruce up my appearance must of paid off because the last nickname I remember having was “White Fang”.
    Funny as always. 🙂

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  17. I can see it now. Disney’s next movie will be about you being Sleeping Beauty whose daddy remarried and you became Cinderella. Cinderella’s Prince Charming turned out to be Wreck-it Ralph. After your divorce, you found yourself Finding Nemo. Once you found him, you were married and had twins which turned out to be a Parent Trap. Now you’re Tangled up in a custody battle trying to see which parent gets which child. You really want Freaky Friday ’cause there’s no getting along with Sassy Saturday. Oh, and your step-sisters were Dumbo and Bambi.

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