Both Mom and WordPress will make you feel guilty that this cake is not very creative!
Okay, I know! Neither my Mother nor WordPress would approve of my recycling material but gratefully I have 1 or 2 new readers since last Mother’s Day who I hope might agree with these 8 comparisons.
8 Ways WordPress And Mothers Are Alike:
1. PRESSURE! WordPress(ure?) sends me these “naggy little reminder” notifications when I have not met my “One Published Post Per Week” goal. They sound like this, “Uh Oh. Have you forgotten something? It’s been a while since you’ve published anything new!” But yet just like Mom, WordPress never acknowledges when I’ve far exceeded those expectations (four posts in a week?!) C’mon a little extra love? Cookies and Milk before bed? Grrrr, Just like Mom – -always quick to point out that one darn B+ even though the rest were straight A’s.
2. BARE NECESSITIES! WordPress lets you have the basics for free but you’ll have to pay extra for any custom designs to make your blog uniquely yours. Mom provided room and board and three square meals a day, but if you wanted to go to Disneyland or shop at Nordstrom, those “life upgrades” were gonna cost ya!
3. REWARDS! Remember sticker charts? If you kept your room clean for a week, you got taken out for ice-cream? Well, we all know that WordPress offers the chance to be “Freshly Pressed.” But darn it, I’ve emptied the trash, dusted and vacuumed hundreds of times on my blog . . . and my only reward has been having my allergies clear up. So WordPress – – If you’re gonna dangle the “Freshly Pressed Carrot” – – be clear in the steps we need to take to finally reach it.
4. SELF-DOUBT! Before I did anything even slightly risky, my mother had some applicable, yet tragic horror story to deter me or make me think twice about my abilities. “Go ahead, ride your bike in bad weather. Lisa Carter rode her 10-speed in the rain two weeks ago and now all that’s left of her is a soggy pair of size 3 Keds strapped to her bike pedals. Is that what you want??” On WordPress, when I am just about to delete something, up pops a little window with what I like to call a “Lisa Carter Warning Message,” It says, “Are You Sure You Want To Do That?”
5. CONTEMPLATION! WordPress features “The Daily Post,” which offers different Weekly Challenges. They are fun and rewarding opportunities for writing. i.e. “Think About a Time When You Did Something So Terrific, Everyone Cheered For You.” or “How Has Blogging Helped You Stay Out of Therapy?” Whereas Your mother issued some Weekly Challenges that maybe weren’t quite as fun or rewarding. “You Just Think About What You Did Wrong and By The Time I Come Back Into Your Room, You Better Have a Handwritten Apology!” And of course your mom is the one who single-handedly drove you into therapy.
6. ENRICHMENT! WordPress offers a variety of themes with lots of ways to showcase your talent. Some play up your photography skills, others emphasize your writing more prominently. Still more themes can help you start a business or heighten your salesmanship skills with products. Mom read books to you, enrolled you in summer camps and gave you voice lessons so you could become a more well-rounded person. (But I’m still waiting for someone to ask me to play, “You’re a Grand Old Flag” at a social get-together – – My Mom promised me piano lessons would make me popular at parties.)
7. LOVE! WordPress gave birth to all the rest of our millions of online Siblings (our Followers!) and helps us stay connected to each other by holding daily Family Reunions (The Reader). WordPress also encourages our cyber brothers and sisters to continue to offer us support and attention by leaving kind comments. Sure, there’s gonna be some sibling rivalry reflected in those comments (Mom likes My Poetry Best . . . so mmmnyeah!) and some “sticking out your tongue” remarks (Ha Ha, I have more followers than you. Check out my stats. Made ya look!!) but overall there’s lotsa WordPress Love to go around.
8. PUNISHMENT! “You march right into your “Log-In” window, sign on, and write one final farewell post. And you better make it good because from now on, you’re suspended from all your WordPress blogging privileges until further notice. You’re lucky I’m giving you a chance to say Goodbye. Some other Blogging Websites will shut you down for violations you’re not even aware of. And you lose every single one of your posts! FOR LIFE. Now don’t you take that typing tone with me, Bloggy Boy. When I was your age, we had to write in tedious diaries. With real tiny silver keys. And we had to turn the heavy pages, both ways, with only one finger. Next time you’ll think twice before you disobey Mama WordPress!”
Dear WordPress – – I hope you enjoyed this post. Because I did NOT get you a bouquet of roses this year.
Love, Little Miss Menopause
ps. You’ll be so proud of me. I finally have my picture next to the queen of humor writers – – Erma Bombeck! Click HERE
“LOOK MA! NO HANDS!”
Don’t worry – – BOTH hands are on the keyboard at all times!
Once Upon Your Prime 
You always make me laugh. Thanks!!!
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Lmao, you’re hilarious! So true though, the comparisons. Leave it to you to seek them out. Sooooo sharing! 🙂
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Thank you so much! And now I know how to thank you privately on Twitter! Tell me if I do it correctly!!
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Lol, funny you should say that, I left you a little comment in reference to your issue on one of your posts. 🙂
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Reblogged this on eternal puji wahyu.
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Hope you had a great Mothers Day Stephanie. :O)
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Hey thank you! I hope your family did too!
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We did, we had a great time. Generally it is very hard to get my wife laughing, but I was the reason she fell into a laughing fit yesterday, and it became contagious. Highlight the week, believe me!
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This was (wait for it)… the mother of all post. Again last as usual, but what do you expect from a flaming red hair troll? Oh, and we trolls wish to thank you Stephanie for adopting the new blue snow cone hair color, its so you. On, this Mothers Day, Happy Mothers Day! Congratulations on your being accepted as one of our honorary trolls. But down to business. I never really realized how similar my mother and WordPress really are. She should have been a standup comedian, or rather a sit down comedian, as we boys spent so much time in Baskin Robbins as a reward for working our fingers to the bone around the house. This was the best post, many laughs and the similarities are frightening! :O)
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Your mother, I’m sure is proud of you. Happy Mother’s Day to a blog good mom. I enjoy your blogs through and through. You won’t hear me say “Are we there yet?” However, I’m sure there are times you could use a spanking. May you have a terrific Mom’s day you truly deserve it.
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Happy Mother’s Day Steph!! #4 gets me all the time, to the point that I question my sanity (hate that lol). Liked the other post over at Erma Bombeck 3, 6 and 8 sent me into a fit of giggles. Thanks for the laughs.
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Haha! Good one, Stephanie.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Happy Mom’s Day, sweetheart.
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enjoyed this repost – and I am not sure if I was following you last spring – think I was – but I did not see this – anyhow, nice pairing for the holiday – have a nice weekend LMM 🙂
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How do you get away with no hands? It takes all eight of mine to do this blog gig. Are you cheating. (Wink. Wink.)
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Hey – – “Bloggig” (I like those two words put together!) “How do I get away with no hands?” That sounds like I’m taking a vacation and won’t be needing gloves! Yes, I was cheating. I’m always cheating. It’s survival of the fittest.
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I admire your moxie. But me, here is how I feel:
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I’m glad you reposted it. I don’t think I’d found you this time last year, so am happy to read it now!
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I wonder when we DID find one another? We should commemorate it somehow? Not with a pin. With something edible! Thanks for reading!
Happy Mother’s Day!! Are you all settled in your house now and having a mother’s day brunch there?? 😉
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Happy Mother’s Day to you too! And yes, we’re “settled” I guess…..still a million things we want to do here, but those are the pleasures and not the must-dos if you know what I mean.
I just went back and checked and it looks like we found each other about 10 months ago….I knew I hadn’t read this before! Anyway, have a great weekend!
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There’s a little blue “Hello, can I help ?” mom that keeps popping up on the lower right of my laptop when I click something in the Dashboard. I say, “yes”. It doesn’t do anything but sits there glaring at me with that “stupid boy” expression 😉 ❤
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LOL, Ralph! I have that as well. But since my mother never offered any assistance, I didn’t include that.
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WordPress prompts you when you haven’t posted anything in a while?
All i ever see when I post something is a WordPress window that asks, “Haven’t You Published Enough Already?”
That aside, this was a funny and clever post.
Happy Mothers Day Stephanie. 🙂
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lol! I think you left out part of their message. They ask, “Haven’t you published enough self-deprecation already?” Just once – – I wanna see some some self-praise come from the Balistreri corner. Here’s my daily prompt for you…..If someone made a commercial sales pitch about you, let’s see the script. Oh and yeah, I expect it published three minutes from now. 😉
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Wow . i sure missed the 3 minute deadline. 🙂 How is this;
I replied to a comment.
Although it took me days,
I quickly thought of something,
in which to give me praise.
Despite my reputation,
for quick writing in the past.
I guess it’s good to know,
that I am not always fast.
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I can tell everyone how to get IMpressed. But they already know that judging by the fact that they read your blog and other writerly works. You look good next to Erma. It’s right where you belong! Happy Mother’s Day Bunkie!
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I wish I could give you a hug. And I really dislike hugging. Thank you for always visiting me at all the links I send out! It really helps me get to where I wanna be. Where’s that again, Bunkie?? Oh, right! At a writer’s conference rooming with you!!!
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Steph
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That WOULD be a blast! Happy day to you too!
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I forget to right my mother a post. I guess WordPress is going to ban me. Oh wait, maybe I’m mixing up my metaphors.
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Yeah, you think you’re sideways now? Better get crackin’ on that, son.
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I wrote one at the last moment, so that should do for her for the next year or so.
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That was brilliant I love the ‘rewards’ section, you are so right, it would be great to know how to get ‘Freshly Pressed!’
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Thank you and a WONDERFUL Mother’s Day to you. Ps. WordPress (like Mom) won’t tell us how to Freshly Press because they don’t want us to learn the easy way. We have to go to The School of Hard Knocks.
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That’s true. I have got plenty of bruises anyway so a few more won’t hurt! Happy Mother’s Day Steph . 🙂
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At last wordpress doesn’t nag us to get married… and have kids… and get haircuts…and jobs…and do our homework…..Oh wordpress, why couldn’t you have been my mother???!!! (Just kidding we actually have a great relationship…that’s just in case she reads this.)
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haha! Didn’t I see something from you about locks and tresses today? Heading over there now. But maybe you spoke to soon about WordPress not telling you to get your hair out of your eyes!
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Oh yeah…cut your bangs!! That’s a big one.
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