BLOG BLUR – noun. The insidious and dangerous blurring of the boundaries between your Blogging life and the real world. “My husband cited “Blog Blur” as his reason for divorcing me. The judge gave him the house”
*Choose the answer that best describes how you feel about the question.
1. When You talk about individuals named, “LivelyTwist” and “Morning Grouch” and “Surviving Butterfly” and “GlueStickMum” and “Writey McWriteface” and “Bitter Ben” or “Shallow Reflections,” your family and friends assume you are referring to:
a) New Muppet Characters that are making a debut on Sesame Street this week to teach kids about Feelings
b) Some very troubled individuals in the new Twelve Step Anonymous program you recently attended
c) Very real (and talented) Bloggers that you often have communications with
2. A member of your household lost their job. A good friend recently started a steamy love affair. Your child got a C- on a History exam. A second cousin (who’s a painter) named her newborn baby, “Hunter Green.” All of these people have this in common:
a) They call you for support, encouragement, understanding or applause.
b) They communicate their latest happenings with you in clever holiday newsletters
c) They advise you that this recent information is copyrighted, trademarked, or patented and under no circumstances are you to blog about it!
3. When you complain about having trouble with your dashboard, your significant other:
a) Makes an appointment with the Toyota dealer to have the warning lights and the speedometer looked at.
b) Looks puzzled regarding this new sport of yours and tells you to stick with a snowboard, surfboard, or even a hoverboard.
c) Immediately logs into WordPress.com and says triumphantly, “Well, here’s your problem right here. You’re blogging too damn much!”
4. A Daily Prompt is:
a) An intriguing word or scenario that motivates you to write a creative new blog post
b) My body’s signal that I need chocolate
c) A note I leave on the dishwasher for other household members that says, “Empty Me Now!”
5. If someone inquires about Stats:
a) You smile, bat your lashes, and tell them yours are, “36-23-36, of course.
b) You rattle off the number of TD’s, Interceptions, Fumbles and Passes Complete for the Seattle Seahawks and loudly assert they should have won the Super Bowl in 2015.
c) Whip out a computerized print-out, a yellow highlighter, and show the person how many hits your blog is currently receiving from Egypt.
6. Someone asks you to please stop following them. Do you? . . .
a) Apply the brakes and remember that in driver’s training you learned it should be one car length per every 10 mph.
b) Remind them that it’s a free country and if you want to wear skinny jeans with a paisley plaid flannel shirt and a backwards baseball cap, you will. They don’t have a monopoly on fashion!
c) Immediately click the “Unfollow” button on your blog. You’ll show them! They were lucky you gave them the time of day in the first place.
7. When someone asks if you are happy with the new Post, you:
a) Nod and offer to give them the name of the contractor that built the entire side fence around your house.
b) Tell them, “Absolutely not, the price of stamps these days is outrageous.”
c) Launch into a diatribe about how many drafts it took you and how nobody left a single Like or a Comment.
8. When you remind your kids to Share, you actually mean:
a) You’ve given them extra cookies in their lunchbox and they should pass them out to friends.
b) They should raise their hand and give an opinion when a teacher asks, “Class, what do you think?”
c) “For god’s sake, post a link to my latest blog on your Instagram and Facebook accounts or you’re losing your cellphone for a week!”
9. After you Tag, you:
a) Shout, “You’re it!” or “Gotcha last!”
b) Wipe your fingerprints off the can of spray paint so nobody traces the upcoming election graffiti back to you.
c) Hope and pray that every search engine in the world brings up your blog first
10. Someone has asked you what kind of Views you have? You:
a) Say there are some decent ones from your backyard but your home would be worth much more if you could see the ocean from your bedroom window.
b) Politely state that neither candidate is fit to run this country.
c) Spout off an embarrassingly low number but tell them you’re working on publicizing your blog more (even offering prizes!) so you’re sure it will grow to be thousands.
* SCORING: Mostly A’s – Congratulations! You’re able to compartmentalize and keep both aspects of your life in order. Mostly B’s – Your Worlds Are Colliding just like George Costanza in Seinfeld. Mostly C’s – You have Blog Blur so bad, even Extra Strength Mindex won’t wipe away your confusion. GET SOME HEALTHY SEPARATION RIGHT NOW! (Right after you leave me a comment below!)
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