Excuse Me, What Does This Say?? (Better Yet….What Does It MEAN??)


Most writer's will have a post-it like this which kind of makes sense.

Most writer’s will have a post-it like this which kind of makes sense.

How do we keep track of good ideas for blogs?  Surely I cannot be the only one who just pulled an old bank deposit slip out of her wallet today and read my own hastily scrawled message, “Teller/Yeller   Funny/Money – – First Mustache Encounter!”

Is that supposed to mean something to me?!?

Maybe that was a creative “Hold-Up” note??   So I remember now that the bank employee talked quite loudly, which could account for the first part of that chicken scratch.  Or did I intend to write a blog analyzing what it would “Tell” about your personality if you cried at end of the “Old Yeller” movie??  The middle part I’m seriously clueless – –  because nothing about finances is humorous to me.  But that last part?  Let’s see….  Well, I was either planning to do a blog about my first kiss or a confessional post that I need to start shaving.   Help!

It happens all the time.  I’m somewhere buying groceries or in a movie theater and the stuff that makes blogging golden pops into my head.  And I know.  I just KNOW that if I don’t capture the immediate thought (in writing!) within 60 seconds, it’s all Gone.  With the Wind.  A movie I’ve also disturbed people in while asking to borrow a pen.

Many a film buff has said to me, “You’re supposed to watch the screen – – NOT take dictation from it!”  as I furiously type into my cell phone “notepad” something that was just triggered during “Gravity” when Sandra Bullock hallucinates that George Clooney is still alive, but then she weightlessly floats in space.  I got from that . . .

“Write a blog where you imagine you’ve lost so much  weight, George Jetson offers you root beer floats in space!”

Uh, yeah.  There’s just no accounting for the jump an “original thinker” can make with an idea, is there?  Keeping that in mind, here are some scraps and scribbles I have recently come across.  I thought maybe you could help me figure some of them out?

Stephanie’s Scraps & Scribbles

1.  A receipt from the Outback Steakhouse says, “Bkd Pot loaded w/ butt/SC/Chives”  I’ve written, “Ruin healthy things.”   Where it says, “Tip:”  I’ve added, “expects advice but receives lottery.”    ANYBODY????

2.  A note home from my child’s school says, “Dear Ms. Menopause – – E was very tired today and says she’s been staying up late to do homework because you’re so busy with your own writing and cannot help.  Please help!”   I’ve crossed out the second “help” and written “Yelp.”  Then I’ve jotted down “Reviews on Defective Nasty Teachers.”   Might be a good one!

3.  The Water and Power bill is overdue and on the envelope I’ve printed rather neatly (for a change!) “Electric sparks, sex, Viagra, cheats Sparklett’s Man.”  Huh.  That coulda been a doozy.

4.  While arguing with my ex-husband on my cell, I’ve unconsciously doodled on a recipe for an Omelette,  “kill scrambled spouse, diced pepper spray, minced words smothered in Swiss bank account cheese, Lettuce wilt under cover(s) until steamy.”

5.  On a friend’s 50th birthday party invitation I’ve made the zero in the number fifty into a target (for darts?) and scrawled three cryptic words,  “Black Medium Ears.”   Ooooh, if anyone can help me decipher that one, I think it could be the most intriguing post of all!   Maybe an African American Psychic heard something?!   Oh, nevermind.  I just realized those are my hints on what kind of gift she might like.    Favorite color is black, wears size medium and has pierced earrings, which Target has on sale now.

I cannot take credit for this one. Anyone else recognize it??

I cannot take credit for this one. Anyone else recognize it??

I would list a few more puzzles, but as of now, it’s perfectly clear that I’m either an innovative genius with inspirational prompts to write every day for the next year – –  or I’m losing it big time and they’ll put me in The Home For Unsettled Bloggers Who Squint at Jibberish.

But I really shouldn’t worry about recovering my own blogging material.  I have certain creative (FUNNY!) Followers who are starting to write to me regularly with their “prods, suggestions and requests.”  Just the other day, WeaverGrace emailed me, pointing out that since I turned fifty, I will need a Colonoscopy – – and wouldn’t it be fun to write about that??  Dearest Grace – – It will be so much more fun to write about it than to HAVE it!  So yes….look for that topic soon.  And Thank you.

Come to think of it, notes for that Post could be a little frightening, so I better keep them off my son’s letter to the Tooth Fairy.

Well?  How do YOU keep track of blogging material??  Leave me a comment!

 

72 thoughts on “Excuse Me, What Does This Say?? (Better Yet….What Does It MEAN??)”

  1. I truly appreciate this post. I’ve been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thanks again! egdfgeebdaea

    Like

    Reply

  2. Hi, Neat post. There is a problem with your web site in internet explorer, would check this IE still is the market leader and a large portion of people will miss your magnificent writing because of this problem. akffabfdefef

    Like

    Reply

  3. I like the helpful information you provide for your articles. Ill bookmark your blog and check again right here frequently. I am quite certain Ill be informed many new stuff proper right here! Best of luck for the next! cbdadggkeaec

    Like

    Reply

  4. *shrug* Dunno… I’ve been going for the deep esoteric stuff, and find that my audience has an easier time with the day-to-day. But I keep writing as I do, because, I want to.

    Currently, I put out a series of posts that spanned two weeks… one of those weeks, which ended about last Monday, the fam and I were mostly unplugged. The other week… well, the very last post is when I have a… procedure. Metal leads threaded up my spine.

    I added some material to the reruns to let my audience know what was up… of course… they respond to that, not the “and now Christian Bale as John Preston of the film Equilibrium follows this Hero’s Journey stage.”

    Like

    Reply

  5. “Bkd Pot loaded w/ butt/SC/Chives”

    “Electric sparks, sex, Viagra, cheats Sparklett’s Man.”

    “kill scrambled spouse, diced pepper spray, minced words smothered in Swiss bank account cheese, Lettuce wilt under cover(s) until steamy.”

    I’m going to admit that not only did I laugh until I had tears in my eyes… I also peed myself a little. There! Are you happy with how funny you are now!!! 🙂

    I keep a small notebook handy to jot writing ideas down. Sometimes they are very inspired and helpful; sometimes even I can’t decipher my own writing. For instance, I’m really lost on what this could mean:

    “so slow live a bull that is smudged and that struts its roll over slowly”

    Yeah. So lost. I’m sure it was great at the time.

    I think you should periodically update us with your found blog notes. They are quite hilarious. Thanks for sharing with us!

    😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Hahahaha. These are great. I actually have tried doing this with my dreams, but usually the next morning. A couple weeks ago I jotted it down in my phone in the middle of the night, and then tried making sense of it in the morning. I wrote:
    “Dream: Dog owner…take [sibs] back to school…oh wait they’re back already…getting late dogs wanna play…but too tired…sleepy”
    And the dream ended with me being jumped by my dogs while falling asleep…leading to waking up in real life.
    I have no dogs in real life.
    Apparently I want dogs.

    Like

    Reply

  8. “While arguing with my ex-husband on my cell, I’ve unconsciously doodled on a recipe for an Omelet, “kill scrambled spouse, diced pepper spray, minced words smothered in Swiss bank account cheese, Lettuce wilt under cover(s) until steamy.” Very funny, Ms. Lewis, but that couldn’t possibly be this “ex-husband” could it? 😉

    Like

    Reply

      • Who is this…Little Miss Menopause or Ms. Lewis? With regard to reading your blog, I’m sorry for not being more attentive for the last couple of days. I finally had a chance to read it, and let me tell you, the “pressure” was all mine! ;-)Seriously, and as usual, it was very funny. Enjoyed reading it. I also appreciate your hospitality, especially when you bake that fresh salmon for dinner!

        Like

        Reply

  9. Finally, I get a chance to see the “method” to your madness. Though, I’m still left scratching my head! You are absolutely one of a kind, and I don’t think there’s a neuroscientist out there that can explain your brilliance. Your method of remembering things is much more interesting, and effective, than mine. See, I often get my thoughts in situations where I have no pen or paper available. My solution: absurdly misplace something nearby, so that when I discover it, I’m brought back to the thought I had while putting it there. A couple days ago, I was in the shower and had an epiphany that absolutely had to be documented. I did what any rational person would do, of course. I grabbed a bottle of shampoo, leaned out of the shower to open the bathroom door, and chucked the bottle clear across the living room. Granted, I should’ve washed my hair before throwing the bottle to the other side of the house, but I couldn’t risk losing that nugget of an idea. 🙂
    I’m sorry, but I’m going to feel cheated if I don’t learn the story behind the first mustache encounter.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      • Whoa! Last I heard I was only signing up to do a colonoscopy BLOG! lol…. For the record, I do NOT believe that writer’s can only write from personal experience. I will be just fine with my little ole imagination. 😉 But if we’re arranging transportation somewhere – – can someone drive my kids once more to Disneyland?

        Like

        Reply

        • Artistic License: you can be what you want to be…and you’re a million miles from reality. The Doors?

          A ride to Disneyland? Jenni and I made arrangements for a get-away for you and your Disney-loving kids.

          But seriously, my husband didn’t go to the dr. for nearly 15 years. Then I took him to the Emergency Room, and he was diagnosed with diverticulitis. He got such a clean bill of health in all other areas, he was really glad he had such a thorough go-over. He said it felt really great to be relieved of his fears of this-and-that that might have been wrong. Now? He keeps rescheduling his colonoscopy appointment.

          Like

          Reply

  12. That is so funny. I also have to jot ideas down but normally start a draft in my phone and include a link of the text I will eventually put in the post. I like the mystery and intrigue of the scribbled on papers though. Much more exciting.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. I’m gutted at the thought of so much comedy gold being lost. I especially like the sound of #4.
    Please please please write a fast food fiction about the waitress and the lottery ticket.
    I wonder if lost posts go to the same place as missing socks?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  14. Okay, now that I’ve spammed your replies to others’ comments, I’ll play nice and answer your question: I don’t (keep track of blogging material). I so rarely have an original thought during the course of my day that it’s not worth keeping a pen and notebook nearby — and who writes with pen/cil and paper anymore anyway?

    I even downloaded a spiffy voice recording app to my phone so I can recite my dreams upon waking while they’re “fresh” without having to hunt for said elusive pen/cil and paper — because I’m telling you my dreams are BRILLIANT. Alas, I haven’t used it — ever.

    I do have draft blogs in my drafts folder; they even have titles and fairly coherent notes cluing me into what I think I want to write about in that post… they just haven’t inspired me enough to actually write them.

    Keep up your brilliance; I look forward to it every time I visit my Reader.

    :>

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  16. I have been wondering how the hell your mind works. This explains a lot. Fascinating how you start at point A and get to K but you’ve gone via XYZ! Funny stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. Well this is very telling. . .I do have some ideas for blogs in fact I have ideas come to me often. However, deciphering the list. The first one seems you may have been given service which warranted humor but no tip included. Teachers you could no doubt write about all day. could be good or could compromise the grades of apparently innocent kids. Of course the colonoscopy bit would be classic with unexpected turns certain to be a gas. Your writing is fabulously funny.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thanks – – I remembered that the restaurant one was simply my thinking how instead of any gratuity, one waitress is left a lottery ticket. Does she win?? Then I discarded that as unoriginal. Funny word play from you. Appreciate the comment.

      Like

      Reply

      • You’ve never seen the movie, “It could happen to you?” Of course, just because a thought is “unoriginal” doesn’t mean it can’t be flipped onto its side and filleted into something hilarious. Isn’t that the foundation upon which the entire entertainment industry is built? :>

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

  18. First I arrange my nifty collection of pebbles into the shape of letters. Then I pee on them. I find that this keeps the words fresh until I can transcribe them on my blog.

    When that’s not possible, I just memorize stuff.

    Like

    Reply

  19. Another thing in common – ex’s. Oh, and the colonoscopy – always a joy. As far as keeping track of blog posts, I’ve found whether I write them on the back of deposit slips (as earlier discussed) or business cards I grab from wherever I happen to be, or slips of paper I find on the ground, or on my iphone’s notes or recording device – it matters not. Because eventually, I will relocate one of them! Ha! Forgetting where they are is sort of exciting – I’m continually surprised!

    Like

    Reply

    • Hi again, Wendy! I actually have two exes and one even comments here quite often. I wrote a post called, “Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?” Or maybe it was “Should You?” An entirely different question! Can’t remember now. Anyhow, you’re not kidding about your last sentence. Forgetting where they are and having them resurface (on a slow day) is the ultimate treasure hunt! We seem very much alike – – little things please us and we self-amuse effortlessly. 😉
      Stephanie

      Like

      Reply

      • True! Life is easier when one takes pleasure in the small things and laughs easily! And finds slowly resurfaced treasures! We do seem alike – do you live on the east coast?

        Like

        Reply

          • Too bad, I was hoping you lived closer. But a son in Manhattan is a start, especially if you visit him (I’ll meet you there). I would agree about the east coast personality, we are funny, a bit neurotic, intellectual. California has that spacey, happy, tan vibe.

            Like

            Reply

            • Ugh, you are sooooo right. And I HATE TAN vibes. I hate sun. And heat. It just brings wrinkles and skin cancer. And low energy. Rain is rejuvenating and refreshing. I would love to experience some real weather. I’m just being held hostage in these parts until my kids are all 18!

              Like

              Reply

  20. Yea! I’m the first one here this time 🙂 I ran over as soon as I got the message. It’s like being the midwife. And you’re the mother of twin posts today!

    I haven’t been to a “real” movie in so long, I never thought of using a cell phone to record notes of ideas. Good one! Perhaps First Mustache Encounter was a pre-cell phone day, regarding your favorite Scarlett?

    That potato and chives gives you 2 of your 5 servings of fruit and vegetables, including one fresh green (1 potato, 1 chives, or one for each chive?). What’s so bad about that? It’s baked, not fried, after all.

    I vote for seeing you work with that tip thing. That should put you into interesting contortions.

    I love that omelette. I’d polish that one off.

    If anyone puts you in a Home for Unsettled Bloggers, it’s only to settle you so you can keep your blog going full steam ahead as you decipher (or recipher) jibberish.

    Your son’s note to the Tooth Fairy? If you tell her that she’s due for a colonoscopy, she’s sure to leave your appointment card under his pillow.

    Hmmmm. I don’t know if I can hit the Post Comment button without first enjoying other great comments that you get. I’ll never see them until I hit it.

    Well, I’ll “grin and 🐻 it”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • I get so much bang for my buck with your comments! Mining the gems with this one was particularly difficult since almost every sentence is competing for first place – – but I have to go with the Tooth Fairy leaving my appt card under HIS pillow. Classic twist. Rivaling that remark about midwife and twin posts. Brilliant (again in that voice which you made no comment about. I LOVE that voice) And the thing with baked potatoes (besides the fact that yams or sweet potatoes are supposedly healthier) is that the butter and sour cream messes them all up. You glossed over that part of the order, Miss Grace. That’s what “loaded” implies, with potatoes. Chives, Sour Cream and Butter. But if you’re going to tell me you eat a baked potato with just chives, I will retract. Thank you helping me get a smidgen (where’s Maggie with that adjective?) closer to my “rightful procedure.” Writing about it….first baby step.
      Signed,
      Steph (look, in public!! Just for you)

      Like

      Reply

      • I think I responded to that Brilliant voice with my remark about your blood levels indicating Disney-itis 🙂 …I also sent a teddy bear promise to go with the lovely flowers and cute kitten. Did you get them?

        The potatoes and chives were already glossed over with the butter and sour cream. 😈

        My dear Steph (NOT Stephie or Stephy or Steffy or any other such sort of manipulation), watch out for plagiarizers forging your signature, especially if they add this: 😎

        Like

        Reply

        • yes, I did – -thank you!!! I haven’t written back yet. That was a hilarious email. Sometimes I start to respond to you and then realize I only have a few minutes and that would never do justice to what your email deserves so I tell myself I will get back to this with a worthy reply Later. . . and we all know what happens when you do that. Too much butter and sour cream glossing!

          Here’s a wannabe forged LMM signature. Does it give you pause??

          Like

          Reply

          • I know what you mean. I haven’t yet responded to a very sweet Christmas card from a very dear friend, except to send her a message saying that I was still working on it.

            Yeah, my emails are a bit long. I’m still used to writing letters that are pages long.

            For the Outback receipt: stock broker “regular” customer offers a hot stock tip. Waitress rolls eyes. Customer says, “stay out of the stock market” and gives her a lottery ticket.

            So, you forged your own signature?

            Like

            Reply

  21. Ok I’ve got it…a waitress who works at a supposedly healthy restaurant has discovered that the real ingredients in their famous dishes are, in fact, incredibly unhealthy. When she asks a friend for advice (using his ticket to jot down the true ingredients), he instead turns to his congressman boss…who provides the waitress with a ticket that will either jettison her into a life of luxury or cause her to become the secret sex slave and chamber pot girl for a radical movement who insists that the focus on ‘healthy’ living will bring about Armageddon

    The moustache…maybe you were going for something akin to an old black and white movie villain? Were there any notes about tying people to train tracks?

    As for me…I carry and notebook and pen everywhere with me but often wind up jotting notes in my cell and then writing a post using those notes but that is entirely different from my original intent!

    Like

    Reply

    • THAT was truly amazing! Can I keep you in my back pocket for whenever these odd nonsensical scraps resurface? Seriously, you know what that reminded me of? On “Name that Tune” game show (really dating myself now!) when they would say “I can name that tune in 8 notes, then six then finally just three. And the singing woman belts out three notes and WHAM the contestant names it which causes her to burst into the entire song as the credits rolled. You did just that! You’ve named an entire storyline with just a few words!

      Like

      Reply

  23. I’m pretty good with my own notes. But a couple of years ago I found a list of ‘to do’ things my dad wrote. Right under clip toenails was “Cancel Fire Insurance, buy fire extinguishers”. He thought he’d be saving some money. He was also 89 years old and could barely walk. My brother convinced him he didn’t need to save $$ that badly.

    Like

    Reply

    • ahhhh, that was kind of poignant to think about. A frugal elderly man cancelling one thing only to have to buy another related item. Cute. Wow – – 89 – – sounds like you have great longevity in your family. Thanks Katie!

      Like

      Reply

      • Isn’t there an I Love Lucy episode where she’s feeling “unpoopular” and so Ricky, Fred and Ethel pretend to compete for her affections and then she says (oh so magnanimously,) “It’s okay, everyone. Don’t fight. Why don’t you just SHARE me?” That’s what this thing with you and Maggie being first has reminded me of. Or am I the only diehard Lucy fan rambling on here?? Big hugs, Midwife!

        Like

        Reply

    • I really did have to pull over because I read your comment at a red light and then when it turned green, I was cracking up too hard and couldn’t drive. Somehow my lines always read way funnier when you regurgitate them back to me with your particular spin on them. Thanks, Maggie! I’ll never order a potato now the same way…..

      Like

      Reply

Leave a reply to Maggie Wilson Cancel reply