Last night, a Candlestick didn’t sing to me, but my Writing Equipment did croon a little tune. Sorry Disney!!
“Be Freshly Pressed!”
(To the Tune of “Be Our Guest!”)
Ball Point Pen (melodically)
Be Freshly Pressed, Freshly Pressed,
don’t be nervous, it’s not a test,
Just have a catchy title, Cherie
and a hook that’s been finessed.
Scoop du jour! It’s not your nerves,
Wordpress Daily Prompts have tricky curves.
I write the Play stuff, it’s fictitious,
Don’t believe me? You’re suspicious.
I can pun, I have fun, I hit publish when I’m done,
After all, a post can never be too over-spun.
As a blogger, it’s not good to be second best
So go on, use my drop-down menu,
Take a glance, and then you’ll….
Stay abreast
With how I’ve professed
To sleep at my desk, till you’re Freshly Pressed.
Desk Lamp (solo spotlight)
Cliched Clams!
Quotation Quiche!
Dry but Juicy Hacked Hashish!
Shut up! – – we’re not here to overeat.
Don’t you know we have a quota to meet?
Computer (harmony)
With Other Bloggers, don’t compare,
But Yes, they do have better flair!
Writer’s Block! Now you’re scared!
It’s just your souls about to be bared.
Everyone’s gloomy and complaining,
‘Cuz all your Readers expect entertaining…
So I write jokes, post good pics,
With my fellow literary chicks.
Keyboard & Mouse (duet)
And it’s all in questionable taste, that you can bet!
Come on and get off your ass,
You’ve won your own free pass, to Be Freshly Pressed.
If you’re stressed….
It’s mass Googling we suggest!
All Equipment (Crescendo Together)
You’ve confessed, You’re possessed,
You’ll even write about your big breasts
Get your worries off your chest.
Let us say for your next post…
try giving a recipe for French Toast.
Try some poems, try a quote,
Now go home and edit what you just wrote!
It’s a chore, but don’t be a wallower…
Don’t believe me? Ask your one Follower.
Singing sentences, dancing words,
Yes your writings for the birds.
How could anyone be gloomy or depressed?
We’ll make you shout encore,
Writing shouldn’t be a chore…
So don’t get obsessed, just make a small request
To be Freshly Pressed. Freshly Pressed!
Mrs. Plots (warbles)
I’m aghast – – feeling harassed,
Sakes alive, you’re plagiarizing fast!
Words are pouring, and it’s not boring
Soon the adoring has your Stats soaring….
With the climax, they’ll want tea,
And my dear, that’s fine with me.
While this parody has some clarity,
there’s no hilarity or sincerity,
So any popularity will just be charity,
But you could throw in some vulgarity!
Yes! Write some porn! Be piping hot!
Heaven’s sakes! Perish that thought!
You little Tart, that’s not called Art!
Clean it up! You could write about your thyroid – – it’s gone hypo.
We’ve got a lot to do, so please avoid another typo!
Do you take one lump or two?
(Meaning the “likes” you get will be few.)
But if you tell all your blog guests
They’re just the best, to be able to digest
All your crap without their protest.
Then along the way, you might (yes, you just may!)
Be Freshly Pressed! Freshly Pressed!! Yes, you’ll Be FRESHLY PRESSED!!!
(And now we turn the record over to play the lesser known “throwaway” song on the other side of the 45)
“Stop Blogging My ART Around”
(To the Tune of “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” by Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks)
Blogger, you’ll come flocking onto my website,
Ignoring those banners ’bout my copyright.
I said ya, well
I know just what I’m gonna do…
You post my stuff without permission, just to get another view.
So you’ve had a little trouble with a noun.
Now you’re downloading my images around.
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my Art around.
It’s hard to think about what you’ve done.
When all you think about is Number One.
This is gonna be the big get even…
Cuttin’ n pastin’ is akin to thievin’
I know you really wanna give cartoons a whirl…
But you really shoulda picked a different URL.
Blogger, you could never look me in the eye,
You think the price for Clip Art is much too high….
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin ‘ my
Stop bloggin ‘ my art around!
[Instrumental Interlude while we Bloggers Sweat Bullets]
Crazy Writers runnin’ round loose online…
Ain’t got nothin’ much better to do.
Thinkin’ you’re too unknown for a big ole fine.
Well think again, cuz Baby Blogger, I’m gonna sue!
I know you really want to tell me goodbye,
Penalties are stiff because you should comply.
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my
Stop bloggin’ my Art around!!
This was my entry for this week’s writing challenge where you are supposed to rewrite a song. My “normal” Quirky blog to return soon! And special thanks to Bumblepuppies for suggesting that “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” would be a song with some good potential. Visit him HERE.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/to-the-tune-of/
Once Upon Your Prime 
Very good! You’ve got the rhyming humor thing down! Ah Freshly Pressed the ultimate blogger goal. (on WordPress anyway.) But how do you top it? Do you keep trying to go back?
I’d like it to happen, but they say if you take just one hit from it you’ll become addicted.
Then there’s the image thing. I’m guilty of taking google images for my posts.
Publish first, worry about rights later.
I like to think the images enhance the visual quality of a post. Maybe even add a little to the joke, but they can be removed or replaced because they aren’t the main point of an article.
But does WordPress disqualify for images? I seem to see a lot of dubious sourced images on Freshly Pressed.
But I’m not going to go back and remove images in hopes that the FP Godmother might place her magic wand upon my blog. (please never say that out loud.)
Anyway, you write a very high quality blog with great humor.
I think I’ve said it before, if not I’ll say it again. “I’m impressed.”
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Aha! I was wondering if you might ever come across my one and only “lyric” post. It’s fun to do parody and you get a fresh appreciation for Weird Al. I was Freshly Pressed BUT only because the post won a Voices of the Year award on BlogHer so I don’t think that counts. It was also a day I was evacuated for raging fires and a non-joyful experience. WordPress has never found me on their own is my point. I don’t think I tag things properly. I have heard that is the key. And yes, the google images thing – I do that too. I must like to flirt with disaster to get a thrill because if you google “getting sued for blogging images without permission” you will read that it happens more than we realize. You and I must just love living on the edge, right Tom?? Thank you for the compliments-it’s quite mutual. Have you read my “The Day I was almost Freshly Pressed” post, you might get a kick out of it. Oh and “The Arrest of my Freshly Pressed Houseguest” was a fun one to write.
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Stephanie, you are too much!!! Love this and now thanks to you I’ll have “Stop Blogging My ART Around” in my head for the rest of the day (Stevie Nicks is one of my faves). This post was so delightfully enjoyable.
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Thanks Namesake! I love Stevie Nicks too! You’re lookin’ sooooo good on your blog these days!! Glad you’re back.
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I go away for a few days and look what you’ve written in that time! If I had more than two thumbs, they’d all be up…and I’d also be an alien, I guess. SO…many thumbs up!
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Very clever you’re definitely the tops. . . You’ve raised the bar and not the schnapps.
Truly good writing and fun to read. It was sublime with some fun word play with every line.
Looks like another winner.
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I must’ve missed this….love your rhyming humor!!
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Spectacular lyrics, Stephanie! That had to take a lot of time, patience, and dedication! Seriously, I was nearly crying from the “Be Our Guest,” revision. I just don’t know how you do it- but never, ever stop! 😀
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Thanks so much Miss Adelie–I used to change up lyrics in my sleep as a kid but suddenly when it popped up as a WordPress Challenge, I was also nearly crying because nothing would come to me like it used to…… Ahh, growing up….Saps the imagination!
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Thanks for disneying us with your silliness 🙂
I’m gonna have to put on some Stevie Nicks while I check Google for plagiarizationism of my images. While I’m at it, maybe I should check Freshly Pressed bloggers for plagiarizing my posts? 😉
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what I wonder is…..isn’t it possible for two people to write the same “original” lines (or even close to an entire post) and neither plagiarized? But how to know if it’s coincidence? I think there’s sometimes a “collective creative energy consciousness” that bloggers can tap into where they can spark almost identical ideas. I’ve seen it happen.
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oh wow – this was super creative and just enjoyable. glad I made it over here on my blog checking today! two thumbs up
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Hey thank you so much! That really brightened my day.
Stephanie
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You are just too creative! Where does that brain of yours come up with all the fun!!!!!
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Thank you, “Anonymous.” My brain is so hit and miss and when it misses, it’s far from fun, believe me!
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“Don’t believe me? Ask your one Follower”
And this one follower says, “Brava! Encore!”
I tried this prompt yesterday. After the first five minutes staring at my monitor? Point, click, delete. You are my hero.
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Thanks Maggie – – give yourself another chance – – parody the Flintstones theme song! You can’t go wrong with spoofs! And you are my hero-ette! 😉
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Let it Flow (sung to the chorus of Let it Go, from the movie, Frozen)
let it flow, let it flow
your words just won’t be stopped
let it flow, let it flow
write the best, it can’t be topped
never care what the critics say
let the ideas fly
with your voice in our hearts, we’re all here to stay
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Thank you. That just made my night! Seriously. All I hear around my house are my two daughters singing “Let it Go!” and now I can counter with this new, creative version! You’re my kinda guy – – you grow Words and you grow Stuff to Eat too!
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Nice, that was very creative.
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thank you!
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I don’t get the whole freshly pressed thing. I mean, it’s an honor and all, but I’d totally have work at it, and that’d really cut into my sitting around time.
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Yeah. And to think, I thought Freshly Pressed was squeezing Orange Juice from a tree. Thanks for becoming a Follower, btw.
Stephanie
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love stopped blogging my art around.
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Thank you, but I was remiss in thanking BumblePuppies (see below) for his suggesting that would be a song with parody possibility. We were gonna do a divorce saga song together. But then we went our individual ways. Which I guess is what divorce is!
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I definitely prefer your corn over porn though do you think a poem about a fart could ever be considered art? Once again, awestruck by your ability to be both silly and biting.
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We have a mutual awestruck admiration society going – – I have been stunned by you from the start!!
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Ironic… You used my song idea without attributing the inspiration properly. 😉
But very nice nevertheless.
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You know . . . I am such a goof. “My bad!” Sorry about that. I saw that you went your own way (“You can go your own way” fave Stevie Nicks song!) and so I just went mine (with that song, that is) and forgot to thank you publicly. Let me correct that now. But we should collaborate together sometime….yes?
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Yes. However, I do sometimes write 2 posts for a challenge…
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I suppose I should forgive you. I mean, if we had collaborated on a song, I probably wouldn’t have written that second parody. And it’s the one that got Freshly Pressed…
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Aha!! And I came so close to writing “this is gonna get Freshly Pressed” but changed it to comedic genius! Congrats. Thanks for forgiveness but what? No public thank you?? ;-). Ps. I never realized you could enter more than once, so I really did interpret your first entry as changing your mind. And I really am sorry for being so brain fogged that I forgot the rightful acknowledgement.
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Such is life. No Problem. Thank you. Eat your broccoli.
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I am rolling! And not my eyes! These are awesome and fun. Just what I needed after three back to back two hour meetings where I wanted to gouge my eyeballs out. The Muse is on a roll – have you considered writing for musical theatre?
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The muse is actually in a hole, she missed the roll–life taking its toll. But thank you so much anyhow. Missed you, Nan!
Stephanie
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A-ma-ZING!!!
How DO you do it, Steph? That was so funny, so clever and so damn spot on.
Now, please excuse me. I feel the urge to start high-kicking round the living room.
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Oh thank you so much, GSM! I’ve been really feeling low. Your presence is always such a picker upper! Dance a little for me, ok? With the red pen so he’ll stop criticizing me all the time.
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Shame on the red pen. Leave the lid off and let him dry out. Instead fill your life with lots of gold stars. 🌟
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These are awesome and inspirational! I am actually working on my own parody for the writing challenge so I really appreciate your submissions.
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Well my dear– somehow I knew you wouldn’t let this challenge pass you by! All hail to the Queen of Rhyme! But I really appreciate your reassurance because I rarely try these things and when I do take a chance, it always feels forced and contrived. This post no exception.
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