Therapist: Before we begin I want to stress that anything we discuss remains in the strictest of confidence and will not be spoken outside of this room.
Captain: Or turned into childish lyrics and sung on bicycles. Am I clear?? Tooot, tooooooot–
Maria: Oh spare me your whistle, Captain.
Therapist: Tssk, tssk . . . control issues. So what can I help you folks with today?
Captain: How do you solve a problem like Maria?
Therapist: Hmmm…Anything you want to tell us, Maria?
Maria: Perhaps I had a wicked childhood. Perhaps I had a miserable youth.
Therapist: But somewhere in your youth or childhood, you must’ve done something good?
Maria: Well, nothing comes from nothing. Nothing ever could.
Captain: And that’s just about what this session is worth.
Therapist: Now, now Captain. Your wife tells me you aren’t very supportive of her creative household frugality.
Captain: Ya think? Nobody needs to wear window coverings just to military march around the house.
Maria: But the children. They just want love. Please just love them, Captain. The children.
Captain: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Therapist: I’m sorry but that’s not a line of yours, is it? It’s not anywhere in my notes. Let’s save the Rhett Butler nonsense for later. He’s my next client, actually.
Captain: I said that to make a point. Sometimes I think she’s crossed over from the Gone With the Wind set – – they also have the Drapery/Dress Recycling thing going on. It’s like she’s taken Scarlett O’hara and Maria Von Trapp and blended them together.
Therapist: Could that be true, Maria? Do you think you have Transblender tendencies?
Captain: Haha, it was just a joke. Let’s get down to the serious issue, shall we? Whenever Maria is unhappy, she threatens to run away — go back to Abbey. Now, I don’t know who this Abbey person is, but I suspect it’s short for Abigail and my wife secretly likes girls.
Therapist: And how does that make you feel, Sir?
Captain: Haha, gotcha again. Kidding!
Maria: Honestly Georg, you’re so juvenile. It’s like I have an eighth child. You are 16 going on 17.
Therapist: Have you ever considered hiring a governess? To relieve the stress.
Captain: Ah yes, some pretty sweet young thing with a penchant for playing the violin.
Maria: Georg!
Captain: Fraulein, you will remember yourself!
Therapist: Who says that anymore? Is that even a thing?
Maria: Well, it’s time for prayers. God bless the Captain, Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Marta, Gretel and . . .
Therapist: Achoooooo!
Maria: Gesundheit and bless you . . . err, I’ve forgotten what you’re called. What’s your name? Well God bless What’s-Your-Name.
Captain: OMG. Look, is there any hope for this relationship? With a woman who has a severe phobia.
Therapist: What are you frightened of, Maria?
Maria: The hills are alive . . .
Therapist: Now we’re getting somewhere. But I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for this week.
Captain: Don’t you have any quick advice for her to conquer this fear? We may need to hike through the Alps one day.
Therapist: Of course — here’s a memorable tip . . . “climb every mountain!”
Once Upon Your Prime 
Hello! Marissa sent me here and I’m so glad she did.
This was a wonderfully creative take on one of my most favorite movie couples ever. Aweseome!
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Hi! Marissa is a comic poetic genius! So glad you popped over and took a moment to comment. You know I cannot stay away from a blog called “Lipstick and Laundry!” Be there soon!!!
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One of my favourites too and I really enjoyed your take on their issues!
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Thanks so much! Very nice to hear from you.
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Pingback: Famous Fictional Couples-Where Are They Now? | Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth
I grew up watching these movies over and over again and I am surprised how many people don’t get some of those wonderful lines that come out of my mouth at times. Could, I don’t know nuthin’ about birthin’ no babies, really be passe? I love this post. I look forward to the rest of the story.
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Thanks so much! And you just quoted my favorite line from GWTW!! Never passé!
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Do you know I’ve never seen The Sound of Music, and yet still I get this? That’s pretty impressive (on your part, I mean, not mine…) Also, now I need to think of a good couple to use to enter. Hmm.
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Really? How is that even possible?!! Aren’t you wondering why some people have seen it 8-10 times? Lol. And enter!!
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I don’t know how that’s possible – I’d never seen Star Wars, either, until a few years ago 🙂 And I am entering. I’ve had an excellent idea for it!
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Good one Steph! What a fun prompt! Sound of Music is one of my favorite things, too. So long, and farewell for now while I take your edelweiss, uh I mean advice and enter the contest too.
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Oh Donna!!! Love your advice/edelweiss pun! It is a fun contest and I’m so glad you are entering! If it were a vacation prize, we could be bunk mates!
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Oh man, this is funny! The drapery/dress thing and transblender tendencies – genius, loved it!
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Hey, thanks so much!
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Love this! Can’t wait to read about more of my favorite fictional couples!
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This could be the making of another mini series. The sound of therapy seems like these two may just need to read some more humor together. Keep up the writing, love the humor.
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Grateful for your continued support here!
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Oh what a great prompt! The wheels are spinning. As for Maria..I think she might need something a bit stronger than all the Prozac she must be taking. I mean, those Von Trapp kids couldn’t have been easy!
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She needs Xanax so she can hear The Sound Of Sleep. Maybe you can write a poem about two famous poets who have an affair? Emily Dickinson and Edgar Allen Poe? Oy!
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I’m actually going to do a couple of tomorrow’s blog. Not sure if it’s award winning stuff but definitely having fun with it!
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